Page 56 of Heartstrings & Horizons
“Dude, what are you doing?” Dean breaks me out of my stupor, standing on the precipice between the hallway and my solitude.
“Leave him alone, dude,” Miles interjects. “He’s obviously pining.”
As the week drags on, my concern for Paige grows. I can’t stand the thought of her worrying about me when she has so much of her own shit going on. We’re about to face our biggest challenges yet andhere I am, leaving her alone to face it on her own.
Finally, after what feels like forever, the ice melts, and the power is restored. My first priority is charging my phone and as soon as I see the screen turn on, I hurry to send a message to my girl.
Cade: Hey Sunshine. We’re okay. The power has been out all week. Dean and Miles have been staying with me at the cabin. I miss you so much. Please let me know that you’re okay, too.
Sunshine: Cade! I’ve been so worried. I’m so glad you’re safe. I miss you so much.
Relief washes over me as I read her words. Her response is a balm to my aching heart. Despite the distance and my unintentional silence, we’re still connected. I can’t wait any longer to hear her voice so I quickly tap on her contact. I hear the line click over. “Cade,” she breathes out my name like a prayer.
“It’s so good to hear your voice, Sunshine. How have you been holding up?” I ask.
She hesitates before saying, “I’m okay.”
Paige
This has felt like the longest week of my life. I bite my bottom lip, a nervous habit from childhood. Being unable to talk to Cade felt like trying to navigate through a dense fog without a compass.
“Besides worrying about you constantly, things with my mom have gotten worse.”
“I’m sorry. Tell me what happened.”
I take a deep breath trying to steady my racing heart. “After I told my dad about the engagement, he called my mom. Which for him is a big deal since they rarely talk — given my role as the mediator. She called me that night and left a really harsh voicemail, and things went downhill from there. I tried to talk to her again, to explain how much you mean to me and why we want to get married, but she wouldn’t listen. My mom has always been this way – she thinks she knows what’s best for everyone and if you even deign to disagree, she gaslights you.”
I’m apprehensive to say more. It’s hard to replay the events of the past week. There’s a beat of silence before Cade speaks, “What did she say? If you don’t want to tell me, I’ll understand but I’d like to know. I want to be there for you.”
“She accused me of rushing into things because I’m insecure and desperate for attention. She said I should focus on finishing school before making such a life-changing decision; I barely got a word in while she berated me.” I probably sound like a petulant child who had her toy taken away, but it’s hard to explain how it feels when your own wants and needs are constantly ignored by the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally. I’ve spent my whole life believing I was inadequate, living with the immense weight of everybody else’s expectations. Standing up for myself has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but this has to end sometime. I only hope it doesn’t backfire.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that alone. I wish I could’ve been there.”
“Me too, but hearing your voice helps. I left my dad’s house, and I’ll be staying with Mags again until I figure out what to do next.”
“Maybe in time they’ll come around,” Cade says. Moments pass as we sit quietly listening to each other breathe. “Is there something else on your mind? You’re really quiet.”
“I just… do you still want this? Us?” I ask tentatively. It’s not the first time the thought has crossed my mind — wondering if maybe Cade isregretting rushing into a relationship with me. We still have so much to learn about each other and so many things to work out.
“Of course I still want this. Not being able to talk to you for an entire week only made me want you more. So fucking much more.”
“Okay.” the word comes out on a breathy sigh.
“I know everything happened very quickly, but there’s no rush. Let’s take things one step at a time. Obviously, I’ve had a lot of time to think over the last week,” he laughs. “I was hoping you’d be interested in meeting me in Niagara Falls for Valentine’s Day.”
After everything I’ve been through the past few months, an overwhelming feeling of anticipation washes over me at Cade’s suggestion. I thought we would have to be apart for a lot longer, but Valentine’s Day is less than 2 weeks away.
“I’d love that. I’ve never had a Valentine.” My voice is steady but my heart is beating out of my chest. The prospect of being able to breathe him in again has my pulse spiking.
“I missed you, Sunshine. I can’t wait to touch you again. And if I have it my way, I’ll be your first and last Valentine.”
“Oh, yeah?” My tone is suggestive now, picking up a heady dose of sexual tension.
“Mmmm. I have a few ideas that we didn’t get to try last time.”
I can hear the need in his voice, so I switch us over to FaceTime.
“You holding out on me, Cowboy?”
