Page 82 of To Love And To Cherish
He would have his answer soon, but whether it would bring joy or despair, he could not yet know.
Dinner was merry enough. Lucas and Miss Trent announced their intention to marry in a fortnight, then travel to Cambridge to visit her father and finalize their marriage settlements. Elizabeth offered her congratulations with as much spirit as she could summon, though her appetite was poor and her thoughts elsewhere.
After dinner, the household scattered to various entertainments. Elizabeth accepted a game of chess with Marcus, which occupied her mind more than her heart. When the game ended, she retreated to the pianoforte, fingers moving automatically, playing a favorite song. She felt the tension between Adam and Mr. Darcy crackling beneath the surface of polite conversation. She just wanted to go home.
At last, with a whispered excuse, she slipped away to her bedchamber.
The moment she began to ascend the stairs, she heard him. She knew his footsteps. When he reached her, he gently threaded Elizabeth’s hand through his arm.
“Miss Bennet. Elizabeth,” he said softly. “Have you an answer for me? I shall not sleep if I must wait another night.”
She looked up at him as they slowly climbed. “Mr. Darcy, I do not know what to say. I have thought and thought, and my mind still turns in circles. I do not know what answer to give.”
He stopped walking and faced her, searching her eyes.
“Is it that I repel you?”
Her breath caught. “Repel me, sir? Certainly not. I cannot imagine any woman in England would be repelled by you.”
He let out a breath and resumed the climb. “Then, is it that you do not care for me?”
She halted again, staring at him. “No, Mr. Darcy. It is not that. The truth is, I have loved you since I first saw you. Do you remember? Outside the bookshop in London. You were the most handsome man I had ever seen, and you were so kind, chasing away that street urchin. I was only a girl, but I loved you then. And I have loved you since.”
He stopped on the landing and turned to her fully. Placing his hands gently on her arms, he looked into her face with intensity and wonder.
“Then why, Elizabeth? Why not say yes?”
She blinked back tears. “Because I fear I will bring you sorrow. I fear your family will reject me and, because of me, cast you off, and that your friends will mock you. I do not wish to be the cause of your disgrace, nor the woman you should one day come to regret. I love you too well to bring you low.”
He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly against him.
“I did care what my friends and family might think and say. But this week I have suffered, fearing you might not choose me, and I knew my life would be bleak and dark without you. Now I care nothing for what society may say. I am the head of my family; I cannot be disinherited, and my sister already adores you. My aunt Catherine will be displeased, but then, she was born displeased. She has long insisted upon a match between me and my cousin Anne, but Anne never desired it, nor did I. And if Richard possesses a thimble of sense, he will one day recognize Anne for the treasure she is. As for my uncle and aunt Matlock, they are proud, yes, but not unkind. I believe they will come around in time. Meanwhile, you and I shall be married, and blissfully happy at Pemberley.”
She laughed softly, carried away by his high spirits. “And what of your friends?”
He gave her a crooked smile. “I have none, save Richard. Five years in espionage cost me many acquaintances. But we shall make new friends together. We have your sisters, my cousins, and in time, we shall have children and build a family of our own. We will be happy, Elizabeth.”
She reached for his hand and held it firmly. “Then, Fitzwilliam, I do. I accept your offer. I will marry you.”
His eyes shone. “Next week?”
“Tomorrow, if you will have me. I cannot stay another week in this house, burdened by guilt toward Adam. I had planned to accept him; he is a good man. I would have loved him in time.”
Darcy’s brows knit, and he drew her close, resting his cheek against her curls. “I read it in your letter. That is why I came. I could not bear the thought of another man having you.”
They reached the top of the stairs. He drew her close and kissed her mouth, then pressed a tender kiss to the hollow just below her ear. His lips wandered along the graceful curve of her neck, lingering at last upon the soft rise of her breasts just visible above her bodice. With effort, he stopped himself and stepped back.
“I will leave you now, Elizabeth, before I forget myself entirely.”
He kissed her mouth once more, then turned and left her.
Chapter 42: Married
The morning air was crisp, and the dew lay clean and undisturbed across the grounds of Castle Roy. Darcy stood at the breakfast parlor window, watching the sky for any sign of a break in the fine weather they had been experiencing. The sun was shining bright, and the roads were dry, and travel would not be hindered. Behind him, a door opened; those who had gone out to walk were now returning.
They filed in gradually, shedding cloaks and stamping boots dry. Lucas and Miss Trent entered first, heads bent together in conspiratorial mirth. They had that look of a couple entirely pleased with themselves. It might have annoyed Darcy once, but not today.
Elizabeth arrived shortly after. Her cheeks pinked from the cold, her eyes bright. He crossed the room at once, took a plate and served her breakfast, then held her chair as she sat. It felt astonishingly right, as if he had always done it.
