Page 46 of Depths of Desire
“Not even a little.”
He lifts the covers and slides in beside me like we’re some long-term couple and not two people caught in a storm of betrayal and blood politics.
I shift away from him immediately, but the movement makes my vision tilt. I press a hand to my forehead, cursing under my breath.
Nico sighs. “Slow down.” He reaches out, guides me gently back down. His fingers brush my wrist, surprisingly gentle. “You’re safe here. Just for a few hours.”
“Safe?” That word sits on my tongue like ash. Will I ever be safe again?
He settles beside me, one arm slipping around my waist, anchoring me like he has every right to. I should scream. I should punch him in the throat and bolt for the door. But I don’t. Because the fight has bled out of me for now.
Because some tiny, traitorous part of me knows I won’t make it ten steps before I collapse again.
“I don’t want you here,” I whisper into the darkness between us.
“I know,” he murmurs. “But I’m not going anywhere. Not until I know you’re okay.”
I close my eyes, breathing in the faint scent of his skin—something wild and warm and threaded with danger. I hate how comfort creeps in anyway. Hate that, despite everything, I stop shivering when he pulls me closer. He’s a vampire. I need to get away from him. He’s a creature of the darkness.
Sleep circles me like a predator, and this time, I let it win.
I awake with a start. My heart is pounding against my ribcage. I try to catch my breath.
“Hush now, Luna. It’s okay. You were having a bad dream. You’re safe.” Nico pulls me to him and keeps an arm wrapped around my waist. He’s turned on his side, facing me, while I’m on my back. I try to relax. Nico’s presence helps, and I hate that. He’s a vampire. I should be terrified of him like I am of Malrick, but somehow, it’s not the same. Not at all.
“I dreamt that I was marrying Malrick. It was awful. He kept me in a locked room.” I shudder.
“That’s never going to happen, sunshine. I won’t let it.”
“Maybe,” I say.
I just don’t believe him. My parents betrayed me. My friends didn’t tell me they were married to vampires. I feel like no one is telling me the truth. No one. Except Nico. He hasn’t lied to me, I admit to myself. He’s been straight with me about everything except that he’s a vampire. I’m not sure I blame him for that. I understand why they keep their existence a secret. In fact, I understand why the whole magickal realm stays in the shadows. God knows I hate having the knowledge. People would not react well.
“Your heart is still beating too quickly.” He presses his palm to my sternum.
“You can hear that?” I ask as I turn my face toward his. The heat of his hand resonates all the way south to land between my legs.
“Yes. I can also smell the adrenaline in your blood. It makes it smell sweeter. Even if I couldn’t feel the tension in your muscles,I can sense it. And I hear the uptick in your breathing. I can do all this from right next to you or from a great distance.”
If he can smell the adrenaline in my blood, can he smell my aroused reaction to the proprietary position of his hand? “Really? It must drive you crazy to be around people then. All that noise.”
Nico smiles and moves his pinkie until it sweeps the slope of my breast. “You misunderstand. I can track people by smell from a great distance, but the other things, it seems I can only do that with you.”
“What? Why? I don’t understand.”
“I don’t understand either. In all my four hundred years, I’ve never had this happen. Not once.” The tip of his finger slips under the lace on my bra.
“Jesus, you’re four hundred years old?” I gasp. I can’t get my brain around it.
“Give or take, yes.”
“But you were alive in the sixteenth century?” I try to imagine what that must have been like.
“I was. Not my favorite time. The eighteenth century was better.”
“That’s insane. What’s that like? Living for all those years. All the changes you’ve seen.”
Nico sighs softly. “Lonely. That’s what it’s like. Living in the shadows and never letting my true nature be revealed. It’s been lonely, but I cannot complain. Many others have suffered far more.” He gets a faraway look on his face, and there’s an odd tug in my chest. I can’t imagine it. Lonely doesn’t cover it.
