Page 97 of Fierce Love
“I hate that you packed. Those suitcases are going to be emptied back out and put somewhere that only I can find them.” He kisses my neck. “What were you thinking about?”
“When we were younger—” I take a deep breath because I hate admitting this, but I vowed to myself that if Nate forgave me, I’d be more honest. “I used your wealth as a shield to protect myself from getting too deep with you. Money was the reason we wouldn’t work, a reason I couldn’t go all in, and I’m sure now that wasn’t fair. You never cared, and I definitely cared toomuch. I did the same thing when I came back too. Another self-protection measure. If wealth was an obstacle, then I didn’t have to admit the truth—what I did, what Celia did.”
“I knew. And I was probably too dismissive then and now. But I’ve never wanted a socialite—someone who throws parties and manages charities. Maybe I didn’t make that clear enough. I’ve only ever wanted you from the minute you pressed your hand to my back and I turned around. To be with you, the money, the status, didn’t matter. I’d have given it all up.”
I rotate in his arms, and I caress the side of his face with my palm. As tenderly as I can, I kiss him, and he wraps his arm around me, tugging me flush.
“I want to put all of it behind us. My parents are going to jail, and all the other secrets are out.”
“I feel an ‘and’ here.”
“I don’t know how you’re going to feel about this,” I say.
“Okay,” he says, slowly.
“I think I need to talk to your mom, clear the air.” I don’t say now that we’re on equal footing, but that’s how it feels. Like the weight she put on me that night is finally gone and I’m not being ground into the dirt under her will.
“I’ll support that, but I’d rather not be there. She’ll take it as a sign that I didn’t mean what I said.”
“What did you say?”
“I told her that it’d be a long, long, long time before we’d have anything to do with each other again.”
“Sheissick…”
“If she ends up needing a donor, she’ll have to hope Ava volunteers. She doesn’t deserve anything from me after what she did.”
I can’t blame Nate. After hearing Sienna describe the change in Nate after I left, I can’t imagine Celia was oblivious. It must be deeply painful to realize she did this to me, but she knowinglydid it to him too. Her son. I’d go to the ends of the earth for Kinsley, and she’s only my sister. I can’t imagine hurting a child like she hurt him, like my mother hurt me. It seems unfathomable.
“She’s still got lots of treatment options,” Nate says, and I’m not sure if he’s soothing himself or me. The reality is that he’s not the type to watch someone die, even if he hates them right now.
“You’re okay if I talk to her?”
“If that’s what you need, I can get Owen to find someone to escort you to the hospital tomorrow.”
“Hospital?”
“She collapsed at the end of our fight. Family chat has been going off all night, but I’ve been ignoring it.”
If this is how he needs to deal with Celia’s betrayal, who am I to criticize him? This doesn’tfeellike him, but I also know that we make different decisions when our nervous systems are overloaded.
“If she was dead,” he says, his tone flat, “someone would have called. They’re probably gossiping about me in the chat, and I don’t need to add to that noise right now.”
That makes more sense. Seems more like Nate, and I breathe an internal sigh of relief. I’ve spent so many years with feelings in deep opposition to each other that it’s hard to rewire my brain to place most of what happened on Celia’s shoulders. Shecouldhave made different choices. Helped me and let Nate and me stay together, especially after she saw how miserable he was. I never expected her to be easy on me when I showed up at her house that night. She had a lot of leverage, but my feelings about the life she gave me are hard to pin down. I wish things had gone differently, but they also could have gone so much worse. What would she have done if I hadn’t taken the deal? Let my aunt go to prison? Petitioned to have Kinsley returned to my parents’ carewhen they got out? There’s no doubt in my mind that she had that kind of power and vengeance.
“Tomorrow, we put all your things back where they belong—in my house, in my life, in this fucking bed—exactly where they always should have been.”
Confronting Celia in the hospital wasn’t the power move I needed, so I’ve waited until she returned home. At the Tucker mansion, I’m given much different treatment than the last time I was here. I’m shown directly into the main living room and announced with fanfare. It’s a full circle moment.
“Come to gloat, have you?” she asks from the couch, where she’s sitting with her tablet.
“Came to clear the air.”
“Nathaniel did all the air clearing I think I can handle.” Her gaze rakes over me with a critical lens, and she sets her tablet aside. “We really have nothing to say to each other. I gave you a better life, andthisis how I’m repaid.”
“The thing is,” I say, “you didn’t have to give methatlife at the expense of your son. You had a choice.”
“You and he arenota match.”
