Page 52 of Fierce Love
“Oh, fuck,” he says. “Hols, god,” he groans. “Hollyn.”
My heart races, and I know I should go, but I can’t make myself move.
Then he must sense me or someone, and he glances toward the door. Our gazes connect, but his hand never slows. “Fuck,” he mutters, but there’s no edge of anger. “Hollyn,” he murmurs, and then he shudders with his release, curling in slightly on himself, hand still pumping.
My eyes widen at the realization that I’ve been caught, and heaven help me, Ilikedwhat I saw. “I’m so sorry,” I say, automatic.
He shuts off the water, grabs a towel, and steps out. He slings the towel around his waist, and he saunters over, his lean frameon display, not an ounce of outward embarrassment. At the doorway, he leans his shoulder against it, and his gaze sweeps over me, and I’m not sure if the desire I see in his depths is old or new.
“I shouldn’t have just let myself in,” I say again when he doesn’t speak.
“That’s why I gave you the key,” he says. “So you could let yourself in.”
“Obviously you didn’t mean for me to seethat.”
“Did you enjoy it?” he asks, a mischievous light in his eyes. “I loved having a hand in you coming apart in my office earlier. Only fair for you to see me lose control at the merethoughtof having you.”
“I…” Words fail me.
“I’ve been getting off to your image in my head, your name on my lips, for years, Hols. None of that’s new. I just got some updated material today, so I had to try it out. Watching you come, seeing how much you wanted it, how much you enjoyed it, might just be my favorite reel.”
I close my eyes and press my palms to my belly. My insides are turning to mush, and I don’t know if I’m going to be able to stay on my feet. I take a deep breath, trying to still my racing heart, the surge of desire that’s threatening to overrule all common sense. “Nate,” I breathe out.
When I open my eyes, he’s right in front of me. He sweeps wispy tendrils off my cheek and behind my ear. His lips press a gentle kiss on my forehead. “We could have it all,” he whispers. “There’s no reason we can’t if you want it too.”
I give my head a little shake, and I step back. “I just came to thank you for everything, and I should have… I shouldn’t have just barged in here. It’s late. I’m… I should go.”
“Hollyn,” he says, grabbing my arm when I turn to leave. “How long are you going to run from me?”
“I’m not running.”
“Bullshit. If this isn’t running, what do you call it?”
Self-preservation. “I’m being a professional. We work together. Maybe if that wasn’t the case…”
He laughs and lets my arm go. “You’re hilarious. I don’t even know where to start with that. Professional? What happened in my office today, what happened now—that’s your version of professional?” He stares at me. “Is that what professional looked like for you here, in New York?”
I don’t know what to tell him. Nothing about what I feel for Nate is professional. The truth will only make everything worse.
“If we didn’t work together, if you hadn’t taken the opportunity Posey offered, you’d have fled Bellerive without even seeing me. You’ve been running for fourteen fucking years, and I’ve been hiding from the fallout, trying to pretend your disappearance didn’t wreck me.” His jaw hardens. “I can forgive you for anything, Hols.Anything.” He holds my gaze. “Because the fucked-up thing is that I think the only thing that’ll fix me, the only thing that’ll heal me, is having you again.”
Tears pool in my eyes, and I shake my head. “There are so many—”
“Just go.”
I stare at him for a beat, dumbfounded.
“You’re just… just go.” He flings his hand toward the door in frustration. “Obviously, you’re not ready to be honest with yourself or with me.”
Instead of doing the mature thing, I do what I’ve done best since we split—I flee. I run out of his apartment, into the other one, and I close my bedroom door and lock it before collapsing on the master bed in floods of tears.
I should never have taken this job, agreed to this trip. He might not hate me now, but he will.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Nathaniel
The nice part about having two excited girls with us is that the whole morning has been filled with their chatter.
