Page 123 of The Scars Within
He scoffed. “Apologize for what? You sought me out and tried to drag me into whatever damn scheme this is. Then you trapped my brother into your schemes—”
“The fuck did you just say?” I am tearing at the seams. My heart is one beat from breaking out of my chest.
Shayde pursed his lips; his body was trembling. “You don’t think I’ve seen you spending so much time with Rhodes? I tried to overlook it at first, telling myself you were trying to be civil since you were stuck in your work assignment with him. But you two just kept disappearing at the same time. And I followed you in the hall after the simulation. I was worried about you after you ran out of the infirmary. I saw you tending to his wounds.” He shook his head incredulously. “I lied to myself for too long. But then he all but ran into the pit after you. How long were you playing me?”
A spark ignited from my fingertips, and I didn’t extinguish it this time. “You just answered your own question.Rhodesran into the pit for me.Rhodesdisobeyed orders and came to rescue me from Chief Kalluri’s interrogation.Rhodeswas there for me. Whileyouwere not. Youabandonedme.Rhodestaught me—” I paused, almost breathing literal fire. I nearly admitted that Rhodes was teaching me how to protect myself, but the whole ominous ordeal seems like it needs to stay between us. “And that’s the only explanation you fucking deserve.”
Shayde scoffed, looking at the sparks crackling on my fingertips. “Believe what you want. Just let my brother go. Is it true? Are you behind the murders?”
Disbelief coursed through me. I have always thought that Shayde leaves everything face up on the table. But really, I’ve been fooled by his bluff. I can’t believe that the boy who had once welcomed me and made me feel safe is now accusing me of treason. Accusing me of being a murderer. Of being the wraith in a prophecy that heralds the end of everything good in the world. ‘Whose flames will guide what shadows pursue.’ The last line of the prophecy echoed in my mind.
I have fought so hard to claw my way out of Rock Bottom, over and over again. I am good. I am not evil; I would never harm another soul. But like clockwork, my self-doubt kicked in.
“Am I the wraith?” I asked Lakota.
Before I could hear his response, Shayde let out an exasperated scream. He grabbed my coffee mug from the chest of drawers behind him and hurled it against the wall. The ceramic shattered into a thousand tiny pieces.
“Just tell me the damn truth, Scar!” he yelled.
My jaw dropped, the poisoned arrow he’d thrown twisting deeper into my heart. I watched the clay shards, a kaleidoscope of colors, slowly settle on the floor.
“Get out,” I said, my voice cold and resolute, not even glancing at him.
“This conversation isn’t over,” he insisted, moving toward me. I threw up a barrier of air, forcing him to step back.
“I said, get out.” I still didn’t look at him. All I could see was the debris of my joy scattered on the floor.
“Scarlet—” he began to plead.
That snapped me around to face him. “You don’t deserve an explanation from me. You don’t deserveme.” I paused, inhaling deeply. “I said, get the fuck out. And stay the fuck out of my way.” With a swift motion, I channeled air to slam the door open.
He locked eyes with me for a long, tense moment. He seemed ready to say more, but then he stopped, turned, and left my room, stepping over the shards of my shattered joy as he did.
Chapter 47
I ran, clutching the unbroken handle of my coffee mug as I fled the dorm.
Fuck the War Chief’s orders.
I charged up the stairs, taking them two at a time, until I burst through the iron door onto the rooftop. I held the handle tightly against my chest, gasping for breath. I didn’t let my mind overpower my steps. I stepped onto the parapet.
I looked down, the breeze blowing the tendrils of my hair in my face. Nobody is on the grounds below me. Nobody would notice.
Nobody would care.
I am starting to feel numb.
My life is a fight that I can neither win nor lose.
Everyone I know would be better off without me.
I’m tired of my darkness.
I lifted one foot in front of me, hovering it over the ledge.
I tightened the muscles of my core, balancing on the opposite foot.
I closed my eyes.
