Page 73 of A Bond so Fierce and Fragile
Closing his eyes, he drew a deep breath.
He knew she’d feel guilty when she found out why he did what he did, especially because of what had happened between her and the Death Whisperer. But… it was still unwarranted.
Opening his eyes, he pulled her closer again—not into a tight embrace, but so she wouldn’t miss any of his response.
“Listen to me.” His hands rested atop her shoulders, gently squeezing them when she made to look away. “I love you. I probably always will in some way. But this was meant to happen.”
He gave her a weak smile. “I won’t be able to follow where you must go. I have a duty to my people, and I must see it through. He… Merrick has no loyalty to anyone but you. As it should be. As it was meant to be. As you deserve.”
Lessia shook her head, her eyes darting between his.
“Yes, as you deserve. You deserve to be happy. For as long as you can.” Loche’s heart constricted when she continued to shake her head, and he moved his hands to her cheeks to stop the movement.
“People like you and me,” he mumbled as he tried not to allow his heart to beat faster at the feeling of her skin, albeit dirty and bloodied, heating under his fingers. “We don’t get these chances often. Please… for me, be happy when you can. It… it gives me hope I’ll have it again before the end.”
She stared at him for so long and so intensely that, for the first time, Loche had the urge to look away from her imploring eyes.
But he kept her gaze until it softened, until the small creases around her eyes vanished and the frown that had marred her forehead faded.
Until she understood he meant what he said.
“Wh-where will you go?” She took a step back as she spoke, and Loche didn’t have to turn his head to know Merrick was approaching them.
But as the Fae stalked up to Lessia’s side, tucking her against him as if they were only one being, Merrick didn’t threaten to kill him for touching her, or even throw him one of his death stares.
Instead, his dark eyes shone with gratitude, and when Lessia rested her cheek against the Fae’s chest, he actually bowed his head.
Confused, Loche nodded back, remaining silent until Lessia softly cleared her throat.
Right. She’d asked him a question.
“I… I think I need to try to find the rebels.” Loche tried not to stare at the hands running up and down Lessia’s back, at how easily she molded herself against the Death Whisperer. “It’s only weeks left until their attack, and while my soldiers are preparing what they can in Ellow, we won’t survive two wars.”
“Their leader is ruthless.” Merrick sought his eyes as he spoke. “She harbors a lot of hatred in her heart. You might need to kill her.”
Lessia gave a soft nod. “She reminded me of Rioner when we met. But… but her people are innocent. There were several of them that seemed worried when we told them of the threat of the Oakgards’ Fae. They might follow you if you can honor their place in society.”
Loche met Merrick’s eyes, and a moment of understanding flowed between them.
Like himself, Merrick didn’t seem convinced they’d be that easy to turn.
Still, Loche hummed in agreement. “We will try not to kill them if we can.”
“Who will you bring?” Merrick had begun playing with Lessia’s hair, and Loche had to tear his eyes away, throwing them back out across the sea.
“The people on this ship, I suppose,” Loche responded. “I cannot spare more soldiers right now, nor do I have time to return to Ellow and then go out again.”
It was quiet for a beat as Merrick moved his gaze to Lessia, then back to Loche.
“Kerym and Thissian will join you. I need Raine. I… I don’t know what we’ll face out there…” Merrick didn’t need to finish for Loche to understand he feared whatever those Lakes of Mirrors could bring.
“Thank you,” Loche offered when the Fae remained silent.
Merrick gave him the slightest dip of his chin. “Thank you as well,” he said, so quietly Loche wasn’t sure if he’d imagined it.
He made the mistake of glancing back at Lessia and Merrick, and his chest nearly caved in at the way they stared at each other. The look in their eyes held so much trust and love and fight, Loche couldn’t breathe for a moment.
Without excusing himself, he started to back away.
