Page 159 of A Bond so Fierce and Fragile
“I know.” His head hung between his shoulders. “I really am.”
“You’re an asshole.” Her panting slowed as she stared at him, watching her words land but not hurt.
Almost… almost as if he wanted them, as if he welcomed them.
Gods, of course he fucking did.
And he said Merrick was a martyr…
“I know.” Raine lifted his eyes to hers. “I know I am all those things, and I’m sorry you had to be the one to deal with it.”
Frelina slammed her hand against the door again. “Stop it!”
Raine didn’t move as she stepped up to him, tapping a finger hard into his chest.
“I get that you’re feeling guilty. I get that it hurts!” She refused to let him look away when he tried, her gaze holding his hostage. “I get it. But I thought we were friends, Raine! You could fucking talk to me instead of trying to drive me away.”
“I know.” His eyes flitted between hers as he mumbled the only words he seemed to be able to express.
Frelina continued poking his chest, emphasizing each word she hissed at him. “You are a fucking adult, Raine. Use your words.”
“I…” Raine hesitated but finally seemed to get it together when she widened her eyes at him. “I just don’t know what the right thing to do is. With everything going on… war… emotions are high, Frelina, and I just don’t want you to take whatever this is the wrong way. For you to think I have anything to offer you.”
She threw her head back and groaned before responding. “I am not asking you for love. I am not asking you foranything. You needed someone, and so did I. It was a mutually beneficial agreement, you dumb bastard! I don’t pine for you at night. I don’t dream of weddings and children and eternal love. I just wanted to fucking experiencesomething, anything, before I potentially die tomorrow!”
“It’s just…” Raine gripped the hand she kept driving into his chest. “I need you to know… I promised her forever.”
Despite her previous words, something twisted deep in Frelina’s gut, into that space she hadn’t dared look too hard into, but she made herself ignore it as she stared up at the stupid Fae warrior.
“I don’t want her place, Raine. I am your friend. Or at least I thought we were friends before today. I… I just didn’t want to be alone tonight,” she added quietly, wondering why she did this to herself, why she was vulnerable with him after the vile things he’d said to her.
Frelina sniffed, realizing she’d lost her grasp on her tears once more, and she began turning when Raine pulled her to him.
“Don’t cry because of me,” he whispered as he cupped her cheeks. “Please don’t cry, little Rantzier.”
“I’m n-not,” she forced out. “I don’t… I don’t care about you. I don’t care about anything.”
After swiping his thumb over one cheek, Raine bent down, and she froze when he pressed his lips beneath her eye, capturing with his tongue the tears still falling there.
Don’t start lying to me now, please. I’m sorry I was a bastard asshole.
His mouth left her skin, but he didn’t move back, and she glanced at him from under wet lashes.
What are you doing?Frelina frowned when Raine seemed to hold a silent fight within himself, the fingers on the hand stillcupping the cheek he hadn’t kissed caressing her skin in slow, rhythmic movements.
You do care.Raine’s eyes burned into hers.You care so much, and you have so few to do it for.
Frelina shook her head, but Raine stopped the movement.I care too. I care too fucking much, and it’s eating me alive. I might be centuries old, but I don’t fucking know how to deal with this! I don’t know what to do with you!
Her eyes rolled upward to the dusty planks lining the ceiling.Who’s the liar now?
The air stilled for a moment.
Then Raine’s lips were on hers.
This time, though, it wasn’t harsh and desperate and almost painful. It was soft, probing: a question whether she would allow him in.
What are you doing?She remained still as his mouth tentatively explored hers.
