Page 89 of Breaking
Jenna turned slightly, resting her head on Troy’s shoulder. “I’ve been thinking about her again,” she said softly.
Troy’s chest rose beneath her cheek, then slowly fell. He immediately knew who Jenna was talking about. “So have I.”
Jenna stared at the ceiling. “I used to think it was a boy. Now i think it was a girl, like Lilly. A little hellion. I used to dream about her.Sometimes I still do. I see her hands, tiny. Curled around my finger. But I never see her face. I don’t know if that’s worse or kinder.”
Troy didn’t speak, not at first. Then he said, “I think about the way I reacted. How I didn’t smile when you told me. How I didn’t even hold you when you started to cry.”
“You were stunned,” Jenna whispered. “So was I.”
“But I made you feel alone.” His voice cracked. “And then when it happened-God, Jenna-you drove yourself to the hospital. I wasn’t there. I can’t forgive myself for that. Every time I think about it, I feel like less of a man.”
She reached for his hand, lacing her fingers through his. “I didn’t even call you until it was already happening. I didn’t want to hear you sound... disappointed. Like you were relieved.”
“I wasn’t,” he said, the words falling rough and honest. “It took me longer to come around, but I was starting to imagine it. A third heartbeat in our home. A new beginning. And then it was gone, and I-I didn’t know how to grieve with you. I didn’t know how to help you... and I saw you fading.”
Jenna swallowed hard. “I did fade. For a while, I thought I’d never come back.” She took a shaky breath. “Claire noticed it first. Then Sasha. They were gentle, but honest. Eventually I went to see Dr. Patel, and... she was the first person who said it aloud. That I was depressed. That what I was feeling was real and not just weakness.”
Troy turned his head to look at her, pain flickering in his eyes.
“I needed medication,” Jenna continued quietly. “And time. And people who wouldn’t let me fall too far. I was surrounded, but I still felt hollow.”
Troy drew her closer, his lips brushing her forehead. “I should have been the one holding you up.”
“You didn’t know how,” she said gently. “And I didn’t know how to ask anymore.”
There was a long silence. Then she added, “Reading about autism… it helped. I started to understand the way you process things. Why surprises shut you down. Why emotions sometimes overwhelm you in ways I never knew. You weren’t trying to be cruel or dismissive. You were… confused. Scared.”
He exhaled shakily. “I didn’t want to be scared. I wanted to be strong for you, and instead, I left you alone in the worst moment of your life.”
Jenna touched his face, her thumb tracing the line of his cheek. “You didn’t leave forever.”
Troy’s voice was barely a whisper. “I promise I’ll never let that happen again. Not like that. If something ever hurts you again, I want to be the first one who sees it. Who hears it.”
She closed her eyes. “I don’t expect you to be perfect, Troy. I never did. I just needed you to be present.”
“I’m here now,” he said. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
They lay in silence again, a silence that didn’t ache anymore. Instead, it held them-gentle, forgiving, real. They were not just sharing a bed. They were sharing the pain of a memory, and finally, lifting it together.
Chapter 68
Later, as the night wound down, they lay tangled in Troy's bed, their bodies still humming from the aftermath of their lovemaking. Jenna attempted to dress, but Troy, lying on his side, had his hand possessively cupped over her arse, making the task considerably more difficult. She huffed, trying to wiggle free, but he only smirked, his fingers kneading slightly. "You always leave," he grumbled, watching her struggle with amusement.
She sighed. "I can't leave the kids on their own."
Troy lay back on the bed, watching her dress. "I should just move in."
Jenna snorted. "There's not enough room."
"You hate the cold. You must be freezing your arse off walking back and forth. How about you let me make an entry between the houses?"
Jenna shot him a look. "The council would never agree."
Troy raised a brow. "Leave it with me. You just need to say yes."
She rolled her eyes but didn't answer.
A couple of months went by.
