Page 12 of Breaking
Troy didn't join in.
Chapter 10
The party was already in full swing by the time they arrived. Lanterns strung between palm trees cast a warm, flickering light over the stretch of sand, and the sound of laughter mixed with the crash of waves in the distance. Jenna stepped out of the car, her sandals sinking into the cool sand as she adjusted her dress, feeling uncomfortably exposed in the flowy blue number she'd picked. She got the wrapped key lime pie out of the back seat. It was her special recipe.
"Come on," Troy said, his tone impatient as he ushered Max and Lilly toward the crowd.
Jenna lingered behind, watching as her family merged seamlessly into the throng of neighbours and acquaintances. It was easy for them, she thought. They belonged here, in this world of casual elegance and effortless charm.
At one time, she felt she belonged as well. A time when she could let the veiled insults and sly jabs slide off. After all, she had Troy. She wasn't so sure she did anymore.
"Jenna, you made it!"
Jenna turned, forcing a smile as Rebecca, the party's host, approached with open arms. Rebecca was everything Jenna wasn't-tall, willowy, and effortlessly confident in her white sundress and oversized sunglasses. And she wasn't always kind.
"I wouldn't miss it," Jenna said, her voice soft but polite.
Rebecca glanced over Jenna's shoulder, her smile widening as she spotted Troy. "And you brought the whole family. Perfect! Troy, darling, come over here-we were just talking about you."
Troy joined them, his hand resting lightly on Rebecca's arm as he exchanged pleasantries with practiced ease. Jenna shifted awkwardly, feeling like an afterthought as the conversation flowed around her.
"Jenna, can you grab me a drink?" Troy asked casually, not even glancing her way.
Her stomach did that funny thing it did, but she nodded, slipping away toward the makeshift bar. The young bartender acknowledged her with a smile as he handed over a cocktail and a scotch on the rocks, and Jenna took a sip, the tartness of the strawberry daiquiri doing little to calm her nerves.
She wandered along the edge of the gathering, her gaze flicking to where Max and Lilly stood with a group of younger guests, their laughter ringing out. Max was looking so very much like Troy and Lilly had inherited her long blond hair and blue eyes. Oliver, one of Max's closest friends caught her eye and gave her a shy wave. Oliver was like a permanent fixture in her kitchen, always so appreciative of anything and everything she cooked. Of recent, he would drop in for a cup of tea and cake. And a chat about how university was going.
"Your husband's a star tonight," a voice said from behind, startling her.
Jenna turned to see a woman she vaguely recognized-one of Rebecca's friends, probably. The woman's gaze was pointed, her smile sharp.
"He's been the life of the party," the woman continued, nodding toward where Troy stood, a small crowd gathered around him. Lilahad made her entrance, looking stunning in a silvery sheath dress, a classy string of pearls around her slender neck. She stood next to Troy, her hand brushing his arm as she leaned in to laugh at something he'd said.
Jenna took another sip of her drink, the liquid soothing as it slid down her throat. She joined the group to hand Troy his drink.
The night wore on, and the unease in Jenna's stomach only grew. She tried to make conversation, but every interaction left her feeling more out of place. Then Lila made a mention of her university alumina meet later that week. She casually asked Jenna about where she went to university though she had been present at various gatherings where Jenna's lack of university education was a running joke within the family. She knew what she was doing. Troy looked uncomfortable and mentioned a recent bid for a government project. The conversation turned to business but Jenna felt like she was suffocating. Lila knew what she was doing.
Jenna excused herself after that, slipping away from the main party and walking along the shoreline. The cool sand under her feet was a small comfort, but it wasn't enough to chase away the knot of restlessness lodged in her chest.
Why didn't I speak up for myself? Why didn't I tell them I have a degree and a career which is demanding and pays well?
She spotted the car in the distance, its dark silhouette a beacon of escape. Without thinking, she made her way toward it, her steps quickening as she fumbled for the keys in her bag.
Chapter 11
The road was quiet, the sound of the tires against the pavement the only noise in the stillness. Troy had wanted her to have a Mercedes C class but Jenna liked her old Honda Jazz. Jenna gripped the steering wheel tightly, her breath coming in shallow bursts as the events of the evening played on a loop in her mind.
She'd had one drink, maybe two, but she didn't feel drunk. Just... untethered.
The dashboard lights illuminated her face, casting shadows that made her look as tired as she felt. She glanced at the speedometer, watching the needle hover just below the limit.
What would it feel like, she wondered, to push the pedal all the way down? To let the car go faster and faster until everything blurred into nothingness?
The thought filtered through her mind like a wisp of smoke, but it left a bitter taste in her mouth. This wasn’t her. What was happening?
She slowed the car, pulling over to the side of the road. Her hands shook as she turned off the engine, the silence pressing in on her like an anvil.
At first, her mind was a blank. Then, a thought seemed to sprout in her mind, like a little sapling. This is not Troy's fault. Or Max's. Or Lilly's. It’s mine. I can't go on like this. I need to change.
