Page 19 of Craving You
“I do.She’s embarrassed.That’s it.She thinks she doesn’t deserve Remy but then finds out he’s saved himself for her.She feels like coping the way she did makes her unlovable but doesn’t understand that Remy doesn’t care who she’s been with.”
“Didn’t know she remembered all of that,” I say carefully.
“Did you really?”Cam asks me.
“Yeah…” I say.
“That’s some wholesome shit,” Cam says.“I can see how that scares her, though.”
“Last night, when she was high, she said I just needed a good teacher,” I chuckle.
“She is in love with you,” Tris says.“Do you love her?”
“I do,” I say.
“You should tell her that,” Tris says.
“She isn’t going to believe it,” Cam says.“You’ll have to do something drastic to get her attention.”
“You mean like what you did to Tris?”I ask, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” he grins.“Go see her at the studio.See what she is like when she dances.”
“She uses it as an escape, so it’s much more than just stripping to her.That shit is an art,” Tris says.
“I have an idea,” I say as I stand.“I’m going to go.”
“Steal her birth control and knock her up for me,” Tris says, making Cam laugh.
I shake my head at her before saying my goodbyes.When I get to my car, I pull up her location.
A few months ago, I put a tracker in her.I’d like to say I’m not proud of that, but I am.It’s wild how my mindset changes depending on my plans.Right now, I feel absolutely no regrets for what I have done with her.Maybe it’s just because I know Lori and I know she won’t be mad.I think she would be accepting of it.No matter what she has done prior, I think she trusts me on this level.
Instead of fighting the fact that the two sides of me are merging, I am going to throw it all at her at once.I don’t care if I have to tie her to that bed and make her hear me out.By the time everything is said and done, she will be mine.I still won’t fuck her until she knows and accepts.I’m a monster, but not that much of a monster.Is there a difference?
I get to her apartment and park my car before walking down to the studio.The back door is unlocked, so I slip inside.I hear the music, and my heart is thumping in my chest.I haven’t had the luxury of seeing her dance before.I’ve wanted to see it for so long, and now is my chance.
When I get to her, I keep myself where she cannot see me.She is wearing shorts that may as well be panties and a sports bra that has her breasts practically popping out.She’s alone, and she feels comfortable.Not only that, but she looks relaxed.I watch as she switches the song and sets her phone down before going back to the pole.I watch in awe as she gets herself on the pole and works herself upside down.She is spinning and twirling while keeping herself secure.She never slips or drops unless it’s intentional.
I thought seeing her do this would be instantly arousing, but it’s mesmerizing.She has an incredible strength to be able to keep herself up like that.Don’t get me wrong, it’s the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen anyone do, but it’s because she is doing it.She flips off and lands in a split before rolling to lay on her back.She’s breathing heavily, but she has a smile on her face.She’s happy.This truly is her escape, and I feel lucky to be able to witness it.
She picks up her phone, and mine buzzes a second later.
Lori
I’m okay.I just wanted you to know.
I’m glad.Anything I can do?
Tell me the truth.
About?
Everything.Your feelings for me mostly.I feel stupid for wanting you.
Why, because I have no experience?
No, because I have too much…
