Page 28 of Craving You
“The next time you try to top me, I’m taking your ass.No mercy.No holding back.You want to be a bratty little shit, fine.You want to meet the man in me that should fucking terrify you,fine.You’ve got no goddamn idea what you’ve released, Lori,” he growls in my face.
“I’ve set you free,” I say with a soft smile.“You don’t have to hide who you are with me anymore.”
Instead of responding, he kisses me and brings himself down to lay his head on my chest.I can feel it in his body that he needs comfort, but has no idea how to ask for it.Has anyone ever comforted this man?Something tells me that he is just as broken as I am.I pull him up so I can lay his head between my breasts and gently run my fingers through his hair.He slides his hand up my shirt and cups my breast and relaxes into me.I have tears rolling down my face as I realize that someone has hurt him badly for him to be this broken.
When his breathing evens out, and he falls asleep in my arms, I manage to get the blanket over our lower half just as Cam peeks his head in.I am trying to sniff back my tears so my crying doesn’t wake Remy, but it fucking hurts to know I can’t take away his pain.
“Hey, I thought I heard your sniffling,” Cam says softly.He sits beside me and looks at Remy for a moment.
“Someone hurt him,” I say quietly.
“Did he tell you?”
“No,” I say.“I just know.I can recognize brokenness, because I am just as broken.Who hurt him?”
“His mom,” Cam says.
“Maggie?”I ask, shocked, and he nods.“From the time he was about twelve until he was sixteen, she raped and beat him.He had bruises, but they stayed hidden by clothing.”
“You were over there a lot…”
“I was,” he says, watching my face.
“She hurt you too, didn’t she?”
“Yeah.She’d drug him every night practically.He was aware, but too weak to move.She’d ride him and just repeatedly make him come.She said it was to teach him how to be a better lover.”
“That’s fucking awful,” I say.“Did she…”
“I made the decision to stay with him as much as I could so that he wasn’t alone,” he explains.“When I was there, I got the same treatment.I was groggy, but I remember most of it.I remember once when I was sixteen… She focused on him for so long that he passed out.She got to me, and the drugs were wearing off.”
“Uh oh…”
“Mmm.Yeah, uh-oh for her,” he says.“When she got on top of me, I snapped.I grabbed her by the hair and slung her down to the bed.He woke up about the time I put her face in a pillow and fucked her ass while she screamed and begged for mercy.I was fucking her dry, and I was fueled by rage and whatever the fuck she gave us.She bled and sobbed, but I didn’t stop.Eventually I switched and fucked her vaginally, and again… I didn’t stop.I was so fucking angry for him.I didn’t care that she hurt me too because I know it brought him comfort to not be alone anymore… When I finished, I flipped her over and got in her face.I told her if she ever touched him again, I’d fucking kill her.I told her she was going to sign the paper to let him start college with me, since we graduated early, and she’d never speak to him again… I cleaned up, packed his shit, and brought him to the house.The next day, she signed the papers, and we started college a month later.”
“Jesus…” I say.
“He has never spoken about it since and he’s not seen her since that night,” Cam adds.“He found a lot of comfort in you, and I knew a long time ago that someday you two would be together… When you were raped in high school, it hurt him a lot.I think that’s when he really got attached to you.”
“Is that why he did the things to me that he did?”I ask.
“I don’t know what specifically he did to you,” he says.
“From what I am gathering, he would drug my tea at night and wait until I fell asleep.He sometimes would get himself off by hand or orally, but he mostly just got me off, I think.I know he never fucked me,” I say.
“All he ever knew was abuse,” Cam says.“I’m not saying what he did was right because I did the same shit to Tris.Hell, I am probably more traumatized by that than I realized until you called me out for it.Remy is a good guy with a good heart.I think the two of you can heal together.”
“So… I was trying to get him to break and show me the part of him that he was when he would visit me at night… I might have threatened to tie him down and make him come without mercy,” I say, and Cam chuckles.
“How’d that go for you?”
“Uh… Violently,” I smile.“I got what I wanted and deserved.”
“I am guessing you think you triggered him?”
“He looked mad…”
“Honey, you are a brat.A giant one,” Cam says.“I know my best friend, and I know my little sister.You push and push until you get what you want, but it’s never unreasonable.It’s never for your benefit, either.If you had triggered him, he wouldn’t have fucked you; he would have told you.Remington has a voice, just like you do.Have faith that if you cross a line, he will speak up.”
