Page 60 of Rejected
“All I see is you. All I have ever seen,” Laurie said simply.
Jo groaned, fighting the urge to grasp his face in her two hands and bring it to his lips, kiss him senseless.
“Are you not here because of the letter I wrote to you?” she asked instead, her voice trembling precariously.
Laurie shook his head. “That letter was… ridiculous to say the least, but I was already preparing to come when I received it.”
“Oh? Why?”
“Because…” Laurie turned his face away, but not before she could see that his neck was turning crimson-red. “Because when I learned about your suitors, I became something I never thought I would be: insanely jealous.”
“How did you hear of the—of the men?” she asked, curiously.
“Amy wrote of them to me. She found it extremely droll, but, secretly, I think she wanted me to come here and see if you were all right.
So Amy had written to him. Had probably been sending him all of Jo and Meg’s news for months.Traitor.
Then again, maybe this correspondence had been what Justin had mistaken for an engagement. The ‘betrayal’ Amy had written to her about was a completely different thing, after all. Maybe it was for getting herself engaged when they had both decided they would never marry. Maybe that was why she had not informed her of the fact either.
I must write to her.
“Ridiculously jealous, Jo,” Laurie was saying. “Of course I am. Insanely, dreadfully so. Do not smile like that!”
But she could not stop smiling. This was possibly the best thing that had ever happened. Well, apart from everything else that had happened tonight.
But he was not laughing. He looked like he was in pain.
“Stop it, Teddy,” Jo told him gently. “It no longer matters. Why weren’t you this good of an actor during our Christmas plays?”
“I am notactingright now,” he said, his voice intense, his gaze piercing. “I am about to perish. Listen, I was a fool to leave you like that. I regret it, have done from the first moment. I left because I couldn’t control myself around you, but I—that’s no excuse for leaving you, Jo. Can you ever forgive me?”
“Why did you stay away for so long?” she asked. “I nearly died without you.”
He tightened his hold on her, his breath catching. He let out that ugly little laugh of his.
“You speak of dying,” he murmured. “I felt that I had to kill a part of myself. The part that wanted you.” He swallowed. “The best part.”
Jo was silent for a heartbeat. A very loud one—she felt as if her heart was beating so loudly it must echo off the tapestries on the wall.
“If things have to change…” she began.
“There is no ‘if’, Jo. They always change.” His tone grew gentle again—he knew how she disliked change.
“I know. I… I wanted to tell you about something I discovered while I was alone. And it is this: things always change, I am starting to accept it, not very well, but I have started. And yet, there is a constant. It’s me. I am still the same—in here.” She pressed a hand to her heart. Laurie was watching her lips as she spoke, in utter concentration. “I can stay true to myself, to the things that matter. Even though I hope I will be changing for the better as my life goes on, I still know that I am safe. Safe from the sudden shock of change that used to overwhelm me.”
Laurie just looked at her, his heart in his eyes.
“But then,” she went on, “I realized, since things are going to change anyway, I’d rather they change with you. Not apart from you. With you.”
And then she couldn’t speak anymore, because he cupped her jaw in his hand and brought her face to his. Before she could take a breath, he was kissing her again.
Dear Beth,
We did not sleep all night. By dawn, poor Laurie was ready to drop, so Meg took pity on him and told me to let him rest or he would die.
Laurie was barely conscious at this point, his skin hot with fever, and I knew she was right. I also knew, just by the look on her face, that she had realized exactly what was happening between Teddy and me.
She looked alternatively bemused and severely disappointed.
