Page 49 of Wolf Bane
“And then you got scared.”
He smiled wryly.“I prefercautious, but yes.”Reaching out, he caught my hand in his and gave my fingers a squeeze.“Everything’s been changing lately, and our world has been an absolute shit show outside of our relationship, and if I keep talking you can’t tell me that this is the wrong time or a bad idea, or that you don’t want to get married, or?—”
“Or,” I interrupted gently, squeezing back.“I’m not gonna say any of that.Iamgonna tell you that I love you.Like a stupid amount.”Ethan smiled faintly at that, his laugh a breath.“And I’m also gonna say that this is the least romantic proposal in the history of proposals.”His laugh that time was a little more true.
“With the way our lives go, I don’t think there’s ever gonna be a good time,” he admitted.“I was afraid to wait, afraid to ask too soon…”
I nodded, watching the way our hands were entwined, how different they looked from when we’d held hands as teenagers, how much they looked the same as when we held hands as teenagers.“So, is this you asking then?Officially?”
“It’s me asking you if I can ask you.”
My turn to laugh.“Well, when the time is right, I’ll answer you.”
We sat quietly for another few minutes, the steady ping of raindrops on the truck roof picking up in intensity until it was pouring and the dark beyond the windshield grew uneasy.
“You good to drive?”Ethan asked.
I nodded.“You good to talk?”
“Always.”
* * *
The drive back—thelong way, on more traveled roads than the ones I’d been taken down to get to Lugaru—was longer than I’d have liked, but it gave us time to sort some shit out like keeping the blood samples temporarily at home instead of at the clinic.“I'd feel better if I could keep eyes on them,” Ethan said, and I had to agree.I had a small fridge that could keep the samples around four degrees Celsius for at least twelve hours, long enough to get them to the storage at the clinic and get Cullen to shake a leg.
And convince Justin to help.
“Supposing Justin doesn’t want to do this,” Ethan asked as we made the final turn towards Belmarais, off the main freeway and onto the old farm-to-market road that ran along the slough, “what then?”
“Then I swallow the tiny bit of pride I have and beg Cullen for help because those samples are only gonna last so long.I need help, Ethan.This isn’t on you,” I added before he could remind me of how his hands were tied.“I know this is not something you can be involved in, and I’ll make sure to throw myself on that grenade, if and when the time comes.”
Ethan was quiet again, fighting a yawn out of the corner of my eye.Finally, he gave in to a real jaw-cracker that set me off, too.Being in our own bed would be a relief, even if it was only a few hours before I had to get up and see if I could get antibiotics for my arm and set everything else into motion.Ethan seemed to read my mind.He reached out and put his hand on my knee, giving me a small squeeze as I steered around the enormous chuck hole near the turn off for the old clan land past the river bend.
“At least a few hours,” he said, tempting me.“You can’t pour from an empty pot or whatever it was my dad used to say.”
“If I recall correctly, his favorite waswhat’s that fucking pipsqueak doin’ in my house,”I said, mimicking Mr.Stone’s gruff smoker’s voice.“AndEthan you keep that door open with that little fruitcake in there, you hear?”
“Good times,” Ethan muttered, sinking down in the passenger side seat a little.“Good times.”
Belmarais, not even remotely what I’d call a city, was still a splotch of lights on the dark road, and like it always did, seemed to pop out of nowhere when I rounded another curve.The old gas station was dark for the night and the sketchy signs promoting some fly by night diner that never did open still loomed in the dark by Miller Road Cut Off.
I exhaled, feeling safe for the first time in over a day as we crossed into the little town proper.Giddings Plaza—the fancier of the three trailer parks and full of manufactured homes that were all a beige-gray and aspired to greatness—had a bright light out front to illuminate the ridiculously tall flagpole.The glare sliced across the blacktop road, cutting the darkness in the truck.Ethan, in the brief flare of light, was pale, eyes dark-ringed.He looked older than usual.Tired.I noticed, just in that fleeting moment, a sparkle of silver in his five o’clock shadow.“Next?—”
“Don’t,” he cut me off with a faint smirk.“Don’t say anything about next week, month, year, decade being better.You’ll jinx us.”
I snorted softly, braking at the flashing red light for the four way stop before we hit the main drag.
Gotta love small town living.
Before I could get going again, the whine of a fire engine filled the quiet.One of the town’s two engines came around the curve we’d just cleared, lights flashing and sirens blaring as they shot past us.“Jesus,” I muttered.“Hell of a night all around.”
Ethan just grunted acknowledgment, his expression creasing into a frown.“Goddammit, I hate being out of the loop,” he muttered, watching as the second truck disappeared down the road ahead of us.
Turning took us away from any hint of the lights, but Ethan was still gnawing over it.“Can’t you just ask what’s his face?Nelvin?That’s who took over for you, right?”
Another grunt.“Nelvin’s out.Or he will be soon.”Cutting me a glance, he shrugged.“He’s a racist dick.There’s been at least a dozen complaints that I know of.And the weres are uneasy that we don’t have someone on the local force to have our backs.”
“They have someone in mind?”
