Page 37 of Leo
“I hate being called Eddie unless it’s you or Ambrose or Bethany.Oh, or Aunt Gnome or Uncle Mike or Leslie.”He was quiet, then, “Maybe I just hate it when Ms.Webb does it.”
Anger bubbled up inside me and it took every ounce of willpower not to turn the car around and head back to the school to confront his teacher.Glancing up again, Edward was looking at me anxiously.“Well,” I said, trying for more of that light tone and almost getting it.“Ms.Webb is wrong and pretty soon you won’t have to worry about her anymore, okay?”
“Dad,” Edward whispered.“Are you gonna have her taken out?Like, Sarah said her uncle was in the mob and—”
“What?Who the hell is Sarah?Who are these kids?”I demanded, turning into the parking lot for Firey’s.I’d made an executive decision that the day was calling for pizza after all, even if it meant just getting it to go and keeping it in the sitting area for the kids to snack on.
He shrugged.“I think she was lying but she said—”
“Okay, let’s just agree Sarah’s not someone to hang out with until I talk to her mom and no, Edward, not that.I just mean I’m working on some plans, okay?And hopefully, probably…” I sighed.“You’re going to be homeschooled soon.”
He sat up, eyes wide and a smile creeping over his features.“Really?”
I nodded.“I need to sort some things out but—”
“Yes!”He threw his hands up and started to do a little dance in his booster seat.“Pizzaandhomeschool!Best day ever!”
* * *
Bethany showedup at the funeral home just as I walked in with Edward.“Hey, Mr.Morris,” she said before flashing a happy grin at Edward.“Guess what I’ve got.”
He stared hard at the bombardier beetle on her arm—this one bright pink and in a different location than the one I’d seen previously.“Ink poisoning?”
She snorted.“No.I’ve got my carapace collection.”She raised the black plastic train case, the sort usually used to store makeup and hair bobs, giving it a small shake that made a disturbingly chitinous sound.“Don’t worry, Mr.Morris.They’re all dead.”
I nodded, my skin trying to crawl from my body.“You guys can use the family room,” I said, pointing to the open door just off the foyer.“I don’t have any clients scheduled until three, but if someone shows up, make sure you keep your voices down.”
Edward was already trying to open her carapace case.“How many do you have in there?Are they all from the same kind of beetle?Can I help organize them?”
“C’mon.”Bethany laughed, nudging him toward the family room.“I brought some of my fancy pens and a new notebook.Want to try drawing anatomical diagrams of beetles?”
* * *
Edward was practically vibratingwith happiness after Bethany had to go home for dinner and to do her own homework.“She hadtwo hundred, Dad.Two.Hundred.Most of them were from like dogbane leaf beetles and burying beetles and stuff like that, but she had a lot from beetles from around here, too.Did you know she has dung beetle carapaces?”
“You washed your hands, right?”
“Dad!”
I hefted him up onto the kitchen counter and he reached for the faucet, still talking about Bethany’s amazing collection.“We organized them by degree of shininess, size, and percentage of her collection.”He frowned at his sudsy hands before giving me a troubled look.“Am I gonna have to know how to do percents?Bethany tried to show me, but it was hard, and she said she has to use a calculator a lot for it but not to tell her brother.”
“Her secret is safe with me,” I promised solemnly.“Rinse ‘em off, kiddo.You’re helping me make tuna casserole.”
“Ew.Can we have non-tuna casserole?Bethany’s a vegetarian and she said a lot of beetles are too.”
We compromised on casserole with no tuna but lots of veggies and the firm edict tonotdiscuss carnivorous beetles during dinner (or any time, really, if I had my preference).He was still in a good mood when I tucked him in to bed, drowsing off within minutes rather than the half hour or more it usually took him.
Ambrose was sounding sleepy himself when I called after Edward was out.“I think the kids had a great time,” I murmured, snuggling back into my pillows and listening to him do the same on his end of the call.“Bethany’s a pretty cool kid.She’s great with Edward, too—doesn’t talk down to him, totally fine with his niche interest in bugs…”
Ambrose chuckled.“She’s been obsessed with beetles since she was a toddler.I think she’s just happy to have someone who doesn’t think she’s weird for liking them.”
“Between her and Edward, I think I know way more about bugs native to Southern California than most entomologists.”I sighed dramatically.“Quick, tell me something about cakes.”
“You know cake is a slang term for a thick, biteable ass?”I could hear the grin in his voice.“Here, switch to FaceTime and I’ll show you mine.You can do a comparison.”
“Go to bed,” I laughed.
“Call me tomorrow,” he said.“I’ll tell you more about my cake.”
