Page 50 of Leo
There was always the possibility it’d peter out though, I reasoned.We could have the hottest sex in the history of doing it, great conversations, fantastic times just hanging out together, but none of that guaranteed everlasting love.
But don’t you want to find out?
Ugh.Yes.Yes, I did.
Sitting on the edge of my bed, I grabbed my phone from where it was charging on the nightstand and thumbed open the phone app.As if he’d read my mind, the screen lit up with Leo’s picture, a quick shot I’d taken of him scowling at the coffee at that chamber of commerce meet and greet from the week before—one that Dempsey was conspicuously missing from and was much more pleasant for it.
He looked so grumpy and adorable, I couldn’t resist.
I answered just before it slipped to voicemail.“Hey, you’re up late.”
He chuffed softly.“Not really.My first client isn’t due till ten tomorrow, and I’m all caught up on paperwork.”
He sounded fuzzy around the edges, voice tinged with a throat sort of rumble and laziness.something about the quality of it made me think he was lying down.“How’s Edward?”I asked.“He doing okay after his rough week?”
Leo’s laugh this time was distinctly bitter.“He was fine.Fine the entire time today.Except for the missing beetles.”
“Um?”I stretched out on my bed, propping up against the pillows.I’d stripped down to my briefs before brushing my teeth and just hadn’t gotten around to putting my sleep pants on while moping.“Like John, Paul, George, and Ringo?He opened one eye.“Please tell me you mean the musical group and not the six-legged things.”
Leo chuckled.Sorry.He found some at Naomi’s yesterday and wanted to show Bethany.Only he decided to train them first so he could show her that they learned some tricks, and he neglected to tell me he had a box of beetles in his sock drawer.He’s starting a beetle performance art group, I think.He was trying to get them to line up on the coffee table when they decided fuck it, they’d had enough and disappeared under the sofa.Now I have displaced bugs in my living room and I’m pretty sure at least one of them is making a clicking sound.”
“Leo,” I asked cautiously, “have you been drinking?”
“Not much.A glass of wine around eight, after Edward went to bed.”
I glanced at the clock.It was just past ten, definitely long enough for one glass of wine to have worn off.
I think.
“I’m just very tired,” Leo continued, that rough-but-soft quality deepening, sending little thrills of pleasure sparking through my veins.I stretched my legs against the cool sheets and sighed, wiggling back against my pile of pillows.Leo’s breath hitched on the other end of the line, sending those sparks spiraling into full-fledged flames.“I have a confession,” he murmured.
“Oh?Do tell.”I glanced at the door to make sure it was locked.This was getting good…
Leo was quiet for such a long moment that I thought he had drifted off to sleep.Then, he sighed and said, “I’m still nervous.About us.”
Welp.That definitely banked the fire a bit, but it made my heart thump oddly.“Why’s that?”I asked, my own voice rough-edged and low, partly to keep from waking Bethany but also because something about the moment felt secretive, quiet.Too fragile to startle with a regular speaking voice.
“I…” He sighed.“I was going to lie and say I wasn’t sure, but it’s because I’ve told myself for years that Edward comes first.And that was fine.More than fine.”
“And now?”I shifted, rolling onto my side.“I thought…”
“I don’t think it is,” he admitted on a sigh.“It’s hard to shake the thoughts, you know?Years of telling myself I can’t do this… It scares me.And I thought maybe those voices were right and I needed to just cut this off before we get deeper.”.”
I froze.“Oh?”
His sigh rattled down the line and wrapped around my throat, choking the words into silence.“I don’t think I can, though.So much of my life has been about plans.My plan for school, my plan for the home, my plan for being a dad, and…” His sigh this time sounded pained.“And it’s bullshit.Not all of it!Just the way I’ve been letting this strangle me.The way I let it hurt you.”
“Hey,” I murmured, “we’ve all got bullshit to work through, you know?And we’re good now.Or getting there, aren’t we?”He made a noise of agreement.“And we can work on our bullshit together, okay?I’ll keep reminding you that you deserve to be a happy, fully realized human being with a very hot boyfriend—” He snorted and I smiled.
“Modest much?”
“It’s my best quality.”
“Mmm.”
“You don’t sound like you believe me,” I teased.“I’m gold medal levels of modest.I’m so modest and humble, I’m famous for me.”
“I somehow don’t think that’s how it works,” he laughed.“Oh, god, I’m so glad I didn’t fuck this up.I mean, I might, one day, but I’m glad… I’m glad,” he finished quietly.
