Page 46 of Leo
“Whoa, there.”I scooped Edward up before he could take me out at the knees, lifting him into a sort of half-swing and letting him settle against my hip.It wouldn’t be much longer before he was too big for me to do it, and I wanted to get in as many of these big swooping hugs as possible.Thinking that just made me feel a bit better about my decision to turn down Ambrose’s invitation for the evening.Can’t blur the lines any more than I already have,I told myself firmly.Bethany and Edward were already bonding, and that scared me too.If Ambrose and I didn’t work out, Edward would lose the friend/sibling figure he’d just found.
No, doing a family dinner thing would definitely make things messy.Ambrose and I could keep seeing one another casually, but the four of us having pizza and movie nights?That was too much.
Note to self: See if there are other babysitters who are cool with bugs for those afternoons Naomi’s at work and I have clients…
Edward was giving me a running commentary of his day, which sounded much better than the rest of the week had been for him, and Naomi was hovering in the living room doorway, smiling but the expression not quite reaching her eyes as she regarded me.“And then,” Edward announced, “I caughttwoshiny beetles out back!They were crawling on the tree stump where Aunt Gnome is trying to grow her mushrooms and then I was gonna put them in a tiny box to show Bethany, but Leslie screamed when she saw them and I got scared and dropped the box and the beetles got out so I’m gonna have to go catch them again before we see Bethany and Ambrose, okay?I’ll put some food in the box for them too so they don’t want to leave.”
“Ah,” I fumbled.“I don’t know if keeping beetles in a box is a good idea.They might not like it.”I mouthedwhat the hellat Naomi.She raised her eyebrows and gave me one of thosedon’t askhead shakes.
“They were false jewel beetles!I looked them up on Uncle Mike’s computer!Do you think Bethany could draw them for me?I figure if she saw the ones I found, it’d be like having a model in art class, you know?I bet I could teach them to sit and stay if I gave them treats.”
“Ah, I don’t think beetles can learn tricks, kiddo.”
He frowned.“I dunno.They seem pretty smart for bugs.Hey, can I go look it up real quick?Oh!Can we have lasagna for dinner?I want noodles but not the bendy kind.The flat kind feel better.”
I did a quick mental inventory of the pantry and nodded.“Sure.We can do that.Go see if Uncle Mike can help you look up whether or not beetles can learn tricks while I talk to Aunt Gnome for a minute, okay?”
Edward gave me an assessing look, one of those that seemed way too old for his years, but it was gone in a second, replaced by his excited grin as he wiggled out of my grasp and took off running for Mike in the living room.
“Alright, talk fast,” Naomi said.“Whatever it is, it’s got you looking all kinds of constipated, and I can guarantee Edward’s gonna come running back in here as soon as you get to the juicy bits so spill with a quickness.”She snapped her fingers for emphasis.
“I just decided to put some distance between me and Ambrose.”I sighed.“Usand Ambrose, really.It’s not fair to Edward, bringing someone into his life who might not stay around.Hell, two people really since he’s getting so fond of Bethany.Ambrose and I never meant for things to get serious, so I want to nip it in the bud before one of us goes too far.”
She folded her arms and leaned against the door frame.“Leo.”
“Naomi.”
“Leo.”
“Naomi.”
She threw up her hands.“Seriously, have you always been this difficult or is it a recent development?Ambrose is great!Amazing, even!And I’m not just saying that because his baked goods are like orgasms in my mouth!”
“Hey,” Mike called from the living room.
“Metaphorically, baby.Metaphorically.”She shook her head, rolling her eyes up in a parody of an O-face and mouthedso good.
I snorted.I couldn’t help it.“It’s just… This morning, Edward nearly caught us together.”I gave her an abbreviated version of the events, leaving out the better parts and sticking to ourStar Warsmini-marathon and skipping straight to both of us zonking out in bed.“And then this morning, I ended up taking the long way here so I could stop by the shop and say hi.Because I missed him.Don’t laugh, I’m serious!”
“Oh my god, my poor little sheltered mushroom,” she cackled, closing the distance between us to pull me into an embrace.“You’re overthinking this so hard.You like him.A lot.And you want to spend time with him.Also a lot.Has it really been that long since you’ve been into a guy, Leo?Don’t answer that—it was rhetorical.”
“Edward is my priority,” I reminded her as she stepped back.“Edward and the funeral home.Everything else is for later.”
“How much later?”Her voice was gentle but held a hint of steel.“You’ll keep using Edward and the home as an excuse for as long as you can get away with it.And it’s bullshit.It’s not a zero-sum game, you know.You don’t have to let yourself wither on the vine while putting Edward first.”She patted my chest and pinched my cheek.“You contain multitudes, bubeleh.”
“She’s brought out the Yiddish.She means business,” Mike said, coming to stand beside Naomi.“Leslie’s got Edward googling best foods for beetles,” he added, smiling softly.“Ever think of having another?”he asked Naomi.
Naomi snorted.“Not unless Leo’s planning a second.We’re one and done for us.We can just borrow Edward whenever you need a dose of little kid.”
Mike shrugged.“Fair.Get him all riled up then send him back.”
Naomi didn’t give me time for the usual tired rejoinder.She pounced.“Leo’s decided to cut things off with Ambrose because he thinks he’s not able to care about more than one thing at a time.”
“I never said that!”
“But you did!”she hissed.“And either you just said that because you’re afraid to have feelings, or you honestly think that people like me and Mike can’t care about both our kid and our jobs and each other at the same time.”
Mike’s brows furrowed.“Is this about the whole Edward comes first thing?Dude, I thought you talked to your shrink about this.”
