Page 20 of Framed and Forgotten
“What are you trying to say?” I asked her. Even though she was painting a clear enough picture, I needed to hear her say it.
Avril heaved a tired sigh, but her expression remained unchanged. “Sooner or later, you’ll have to give up something - either me or Elias.” She laid down the ultimatum.
“You can’t make me choose between you and my pup.” I scoffed in disbelief. “That’s not fair.”
“Life’s not fair, Koen!” she insisted, making me clench my jaw. It was getting harder to bite back my words with each passing second. Still, I listened as she continued, “This is not a fairytale - it’s reality. Whether you stand with me or not, you’re an Ashen Wolf now. You’ll have to make a choice eventually, not because I say so, but because there will come a time when the universe forces you to choose. And if you choose to be present in Elias’ life, there’s no way you’ll be able to keep your secret!”
“I know!” I snapped at her, causing her to wince. It made me feel bad, but I was too worn out to back down. “You think I didn’t consider that? It’s all I can think about!” I confessed, taking her by surprise. “It’s just…hard! Too hard.”
Avril might have been refraining from telling me what she really thought until now, but she wasn’t the only one waging secret wars. I often pondered, struggling to find a way for both of my worlds to coexist. A caretaker and a leader; a caring man and a monster with a thirst for blood. How could I be Elias’ father and Avril’s mate at the same time? I hadn’t been able to crack that puzzle yet.
It wasn’t simple. Deep down, I knew war would come. Avril had told me about her plans, driven by the pain her kind had to endure - a pain I had come to understand and share. But I couldn’t be in this fight completely when it meant threatening the safety of my son and his family.
The concepts of right and wrong blended in my mind. The dichotomy that had haunted me since I was young was suddenly even less black and white. Honor spoke against carrying on as if I had never found out I had a pup of my own, the idea of failing him more than I already had tormenting me. My deep belief in peace and morality demanded me to try and do what was best for Elias.
But another side of me, the selfish part that I had recently discovered, would burn down the world for Avril. I wanted to bewhatever she needed me to be - a soldier, a supporter, a right hand. Every time I went out, I was afraid of exposing my true identity and putting her in harm’s way. Moreover, as I gradually stepped into a leadership position by her side, I felt the urge to protect our pack.
Two worlds, the society I had always belonged to and the community I inevitably became a part of. Two families, my son and my pack with Avril. Love and duty, duty and love. I couldn’t pick one or the other.
“Koen…” When my mate’s voice pulled me from my thoughts, it was softer. I felt her fingers gently wrap around my biceps, encouraging me to glance at her. “I know it’s not easy. But you must understand that you can’t keep both.”
I could understand her words, no matter how much I wished I couldn’t. Avril was laying it all out in front of me, the truth too clear to deny. I hadn’t found a way to keep balance yet, which likely meant it was impossible. And when it came to the choice before me - there was never really a choice at all. In a world where Ashen Wolves were hunted, I could hide or fight, but I could never fool werewolf society while trying to live among them. It was impossible.
Still, I couldn’t walk away without seeing it for myself.
“You might be right,” I admitted, wrenching free from her grip. “But I at least have to try to make it work.”
Hurt flashed in her eyes, momentarily eclipsing her anger and frustration. It was a fleeting crack in her armor, but I saw it - I felt it. We had been through so much, conquered so much. No matter how heated our fights got, we always found common ground in the end. But this time, we stood on opposite sides of a widening chasm, and everything we had built was slipping through the cracks.
It was unbearable to watch. I wanted to bridge the gap between us, to tuck her in my arms. Maybe we could turn back time to when nothing could stop us.
But before either of us could say anything, a concerned Elijah stormed into the training grounds. The second we locked eyes with him, the atmosphere shifted. Our argument faded into the background as we both focused solely on what the gamma had to say.
“We have a problem,” he announced, though his demeanor already made that awfully clear. “It’s the Council again. They’ve publicly declared their intent to visit Azure Smoke to resolve pending matters.”
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A V R I L
As if I didn’talready have enough to worry about, my gamma barged in with yet another problem, dropped into my lap like a new crisis.
Elijah was responsible for keeping track of everything related to the outside world. Since Azure Smoke remained unreachable due to our anonymity, staying informed about circulating news within werewolf society was crucial. The more we knew, the better we could prepare for any eventualities - or in this case, find a way to protect our identity now that suspicions about us were starting to arise.
It turned out the Elder Council had issued a statement expressing their desire to visit Azure Smoke. I had no idea why they were itching to learn more about my pack so suddenly. Did I fail to sell my story well enough at the last meeting? Or had something else provoked them into pursuing us? Whatever it was, I had to act.
For the next couple of days, we discussed the issue while my team gathered any information they could find on it. I dove headfirst into the matter, devoting all of my energy to it - not necessarily because I was concerned, but because it provided a great escape from the drama with my mate.
After our argument, Koen worked with us as he had every other time before, until the day of his trip came. Not even the danger knocking at our door was enough to change his mind, though I couldn’t say I was surprised. His weekend getaway was already planned before he even discussed it with me, and to be honest, there was nothing he could actively do to help had he stayed behind.
I was conflicted. Instead of trying to talk him out of leaving, I told him to focus on his son while I handled the issue with my friends. I wasn’t sure if I expected him to realize I needed him, or if I actually wanted to prove to myself that I could still handle my duties without him. And while it wasn’t as hard as I feared, I couldn’t say it was as easy as I’d hoped.
I had learned to lean on Koen. When I brought him into my world, he offered to share the workload. He was always there when a problem emerged - and now, he wasn’t. My team was fully at my service, making it impossible to feel alone. But at the same time, I couldn’t ignore the absence of the one who had grown to be the most important person in my life. It affected me more than I wanted to admit.
And it didn’t help that, as time slipped away while I decoded this new problem, my mind often wandered back to how Koen’s trip was going.
Focus, Avril, I reminded myself, turning my attention to my friends. They had just arrived, attentive and patient as they gathered in my office, awaiting my command. We had deliberated long enough; it was time to act.
