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A V R I L
The ride homewas heavy with silence. It wasn’t the comfortable quiet of shared exhaustion but something far more turbulent. Koen’s lips remained sealed, his thoughts churning in a storm I couldn’t reach.
A hurricane of questions and doubts raged within him; all he could focus on was quelling the storm, desperate to calm the chaos of questions tearing through his mind.
It was obvious that the unexpected encounter with the pup had left him reeling. His entire demeanor shifted - shoulders rigid, lips pressed into a hard line, tension radiating from every inch of him. I found myself wishing I could read his mind, though the constant uneasiness pulling at my heart through our bond left little to the imagination.
To be honest, the episode had shaken me too. The mere sight of my mate’s ex-wife was enough to send Kea growling possessively in my head, and I didn’t appreciate the insinuation that Koen could be the father of her pup. I chose not to dwell on it, though, because I knew it was impossible. He had told me he’d never been with any other she-wolf before me, so there was no way he could have a son.
Whether it was because I didn’t see the point in stressing over it, or because I didn’t want to push him when he hadn’t tried to talk to me about it, I decided to let it go.
Instead of heading straight home, we took the longer route to avoid being followed. Even if we had passed the Elders’ test, we had drawn too much attention. I knew their eyes would be on us for a while, and I wouldn’t put it past them to try to uncover the location of Azure Smoke. We stopped for lunch in a different city, continuing to take detours and pausing now and then to do some sightseeing.
It was a grueling task when all we wanted was to rest, but caution was necessary. Koen’s tension didn’t fade throughout the day as much as I’d hoped, though I suppose it wasn’t easy to relax while wondering if we were being followed. After one last stop to confirm no one was on our tail, I finally surrendered to exhaustion, drifting off beside him on the spacious backseat.
When he woke me with a gentle kiss on my forehead, letting me know we had arrived at our secret haven, he seemed a little less troubled. The lines of worry were still there - likely a lingering effect of the past few days - but his eyes had lightened. They weren’t as dark anymore, almost back to their usual serene green, filling me with peace.
We had barely stepped out of the car when we were surrounded by my friends, eager for the details of the meeting. An onslaught of questions followed, most of them unintelligible as they trampled over each other, their impatience at odds with the seriousness their positions often demanded. I wouldn’t have minded, had the subject not already stressed me enough.
“The mission was a success,” I assured them, bringing the interrogation to an end. “I’ll tell you all about thefunwe had,” I added with a touch of sarcasm. “But you’ll have to wait until tomorrow. Tonight, we need to decompress.”
A mischievous grin played on Elijah’s lips as he suggested, “Of course. But we should celebrate first!”
While I’d been planning to rush straight to bed, his idea wasn’t half-bad. I could use a relaxing evening with my friends - and maybe a couple of drinks. Reaching for Koen’s hand, I searched his eyes for his thoughts. But he avoided my gaze.
“Sorry, I…” He held his breath, his thumb caressing the back of my hand in an attempt to soothe me, but it only had the opposite effect. “I’m too tired. I think I’ll try to get some rest.”
I furrowed my brows, trying to read him, but he didn’t give me enough time. Forcing a smile, he turned to my friends, who seemed just as confused as I was. “You guys have fun without me,” he insisted, leaning in to whisper just to me, “I’ll be waiting for you in our room.”
Koen squeezed my hand softly before releasing it. I could only watch as he headed toward the packhouse, taken aback by his withdrawn behavior. Doubt began to creep in, but I pushed it back, reminding myself not to read too much into it.
It wasn’t unusual for Koen to avoid distractions when something was on his mind. While the trip had been stressful for me, I had to admit it had taken a much bigger toll on him. Between learning that his pack’s fortune was temporarily being withheld and running into his ex-wife, he’d received no shortage of bad news. Hell, I would’ve had a headache too if a random boy rushed up to me thinking I was their parent, especially in the middle of everything else.
But I couldn’t deny the fact that the pup being Nerine’s made me feel some type of way about it.
When I blinked myself back to reality, I noticed the puzzled expressions on my team's faces. To hide my own confusion, I played it off as if I’d expected Koen’s reaction, explaining his current situation as Alpha of Whispering Hills to back up my story. I didn’t mention Nerine or the pup - it wasn’t my place,and I’d be damned if I helped fuel Koen’s restlessness with the questions I was certain they’d ask him.
The easy-going atmosphere of a casual evening with my friends made me feel renewed. I missed having Koen with us, but I trusted that he knew what was best for himself. If space was what he needed to unwind, all I could do was grant it.
Once I was ready to call it a night, I returned to the alpha chambers to find my mate lying in bed with his back to the door. Not wanting to disturb him, I kept the lights off as I changed into more comfortable clothes before slipping into bed beside him. Maybe he just needed time to sleep on whatever was weighing on him, and it would all feel less significant in the morning.
But I wasn’t sure he slept at all.
All night, I felt Koen’s unease through the mate bond - a silent apprehension that buzzed at the back of my mind. He didn’t toss or turn, but his discomfort was impossible to ignore. The tension that stretched through his body made it clear he wasn’t asleep. Though he lay still, as if trying to convince himself to rest, I could sense the restlessness within him, the questions that wouldn’t let go.
I wanted to ask him what was wrong, to offer comfort, but part of me feared the answer. Despite initially believing the weird interaction with Nerine was nothing to worry about, his concern suggested otherwise. So, instead of pushing him, I chose to just lie there until I eventually drifted off, hoping he would do the same.
When I woke up, the bed beside me was empty. My chest tightened at his absence, but I quickly noticed Koen standing by the window, his posture tense as he stared out into the early morning light. His broad shoulders were stiff, his face as troubled as it had been the previous day.
I couldn’t stand it anymore. Whatever was going on in his mind, I needed to know. Slipping out of bed, I padded toward him quietly. If he could sense me approaching, he didn’t budge.
“Koen,” I called softly, my voice laced with concern as my arms snaked around his chest from behind. “Talk to me.”
After a long moment, he finally spoke. “I can’t stop thinking about that pup,” he answered, his voice tight, as if confessing something he’d rather keep inside. As he turned slowly, I noticed that his eyes were shadowed, and he avoided my gaze. “Why did he call me daddy?”