Page 184 of Love Arranged
I swallow the lump in my throat. “I’m tied in the polls.”
She is so quiet I can hear a set of pruning shears snapping stems in the background.
“This is better than any of us could’ve hoped,” I add when she says nothing.
“Yeah.”
“We’re still in this.”
She’s too quiet, and it’s all my fault.
“Lily?”
“Yeah.”
“Talk to me.”
“I have nothing to say except that I’m happy for you.”
“I’m happy forus.”
An awkward silence follows.
“Gotta go. A customer walked into the shop.” Lily hangs up without waiting for me to reply.
It’s for the best because I’m not sure what I would’ve said anyway. I could’ve called her out for lying about a customer since the signature Rose & Thorn bell didn’t ring in the background, but I doubt that would’ve gone over well. Or maybe I would’ve begged for her to put aside all the hurt I caused and give me five minutes.
To what? Pretend like you weren’t threatening to leave if you lost?
I wish I could take back all the doubt I placed in Lily’s mind. All thehurt.
But there is no time machine that can fix my problems.
Only hard work and therapy, which is a process in itself.
My high from the news comes crashing down around me, and I’m left with an uneasy feeling in my gut for the rest of the day. I should be excited by my new numbers, but I can’t shake the sense of dread taking root inside me.
You can fix this, I tell myself.
But what if you can’t?the anxious voice replies, always threatening what little hope I have.
If I can’t fix us, it won’t be for a lack of trying on my part. I’ll give her my all, and if that still isn’t good enough, then I’ll find a way to bemoreof whatever she needs.
Because Lily Muñoz is mine, and I’ll stop at nothing until I becomehers.
49
LILY
Over the next three weeks after the debate, I keep to myself outside of planned outings with Lorenzo. At first I was nervous, but pretty much every time we go out, Lorenzo is quickly pulled into some kind of conversation with a townsperson, which is a relief.
If I could find a permanent third wheel to follow us everywhere, I would.
Lorenzo seems very accommodating lately. He even offered to return my Corolla—in fully operational condition—to which I told him no. Truth is I love my new SUV, and the thought of driving my old car is becoming progressively more difficult the longer it stays sitting in Lorenzo’s garage.
After I asked him if he could find a new owner for the car, Lorenzo surprised me with a custom keychainusing the Toyota car badge—a memento I wasn’t emotionally prepared for but am grateful to have dangling from my new key fob.
Whether Lorenzo’s good mood is due to the recent polls or him attending therapy, I’m not entirely sure, but I make the most of it and ask if he wants to meet with theWisteria Weeklyreporter.
