Page 176 of Love Arranged
“Should I be?”
“Nope,” I reply.
His eyes close. “Lily, I?—”
I interrupt. “Are you here to talk about theelection?”
“What? No. I’m here to talk about us.”
The sheer audacity of his statement makes me laugh. “Did you change your mind on leaving town if you lose?”
He looks away. “No.”
One word has never felt more devastatingly final before.
Do not let him see you break again, I remind myself.
“Then there is nousto talk about.” I readjust my mask and head back into the garage. “Goodbye, Lorenzo. See you tomorrow for our date.”
I should be happy when he heeds my request and leaves, but I want to fall apart once he’s gone. It’s frustrating, and I feel like I’m being torn in two directions, neither of which are best for me.
And if I’m not careful, I’m afraid I’m going to break for good, and nothing can fix me once that happens.
Since I can’t talk to my sister about my not-so-fake fake relationship, I turn to the only person who is both aware of my situation and also isn’t directly tied to Lorenzo.
When I texted Rafa asking if we could meet up, he didn’t try to figure out what was wrong. He told me to show up at his house whenever, so that’s how I find him in his barn fifteen minutes later.
“Thought you’d like to see the kittens again.” He opens the gate and lets me into the stall where the six of them are.
I take a seat on the floor across from him and grab the closest one, who happens to be the smallest of the bunch.
Neither one of us speaks right away, which is another thing I appreciate about Rafa.
Once I’m ready, I look up at him and say, “I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m here.”
“I think I can guess with one try.”
I don’t know whether to laugh or wince. “Is it that obvious?”
He lifts a shoulder. “I knew it was only a matter of time before Lorenzo screwed up. We all do.”
“Great. Not that it even matters, but I wish it happened a little sooner.”
“Like when? Before you fell in love with him?”
“I’m notinlovewith him,” I huff.
Rafa shoots me a pointed look.
“Okay, fine. Iwasfalling in love with him, but only because I thought he felt the same way.” I cradle a kitten to my chest, needing the emotional support.
“What makes you think he doesn’t?”
“Because he pretty much said so.”
I go on to explain the conversation I had with Lorenzo, all while Rafa listens quietly, only asking a few follow-up questions when he needs further clarification.
“So he plans on moving away if he loses?”
