Page 171 of Love Arranged
I should’ve stuck to our original plan, but no, I had to do something stupid and fall in love with the man who warned me against the very idea.
I thought love could conquer all…only to have it destroy me instead.
And I have no one to blame but myself.
Thankfully I don’t run into anyone in the hallway or school parking lot, so I’m able to keep my cool until I get to my SUV that Lorenzo bought, all because he wanted me to besafe.
But really, who was going to keep me safe fromhim?
Once I get inside my car, I check out my reflection in the mirror and wince at the state of my makeup. When I go to clear the worst of it from underneath my eyes, I flinch at my engagement ring.
I want to yank it off and toss it out the window—or maybe ask Julian to bury it in concrete like Dahlia’s old one from her previous relationship. The image of Julian bringing out the concrete mixer draws a smile from me, only for it to die when I realize that’s a likely possibility.
Because should Lorenzo lose, I’ll be expected to let go of everything associated with him, including our datesand?—
Daisy.
Oh God. Another sob rips from my throat because we adopted a dog together, and I was too focused on myself to even think about her and what would happen should Lorenzo move away.
Are we supposed to split custody? How would that even work? Would he give her up entirely, or would he decide to take her with him and force me to travel to see her?
Assuming I evenwantto see him, because the thought of him moving on in another town without me feels like someone carved my heart out of my chest with a spoon.
I lean my head against the steering wheel and cry until I have no more tears left to shed. I’m not sure how long I sit there, losing my shit, but when I look up, the parking lot is empty except for one car.
And the owner leans against the trunk, looking straight at me likeI’mthe one causinghimpain.
He has no right to look at me that way—to make me feel bad for him when I’m the one who put my heart on the line, only to have it rejected.
Mustering up the small amount of pride that I have left, I reverse out of my space and leave Lorenzo in my rearview mirror.
Tomorrow I’ll pick myself back up and get ready to fake it, but tonight I’ll allow myself to break for the very last time.
46
LORENZO
Ideserve to suffer for the choices I’ve made, so I stand and watch over Lily as she breaks down in the middle of the empty school parking lot, fighting an intense urge to yank open her door, pull her into my arms, and promise her that I’ll figure everything out.
I want to tell her that I love her and that I never want her to go another minute without knowing it. That I’m sorry, not only for hurting her but for letting her down in so many ways.
For making her cry.
For pushing her away multiple times when I could’ve been enjoying her company instead.
For not being strong enough to overcome my trauma, and for being too weak to share theburden with her.
I’ve never felt agony quite like this before, but I don’t dare take my eyes off Lily. Don’t so much as drop my gaze once, not even when my own eyes get misty when she curls over her steering wheel and sobs.
I want to rip out my heart straight from my chest and offer it to her as payment for ruining us. For destroying the temporary happiness we shared and whatever hope Lily had of us making it out of this arrangement together.
You can still win the election. It’s as if Lily is the one who spoke the words, not me.
She has always been the hopeful one. The wishful dreamer. The one who has brought out the best in me, and the one who’s seen me at my very worst.
I failed her in more ways than the debate. I took her love for granted, and now I’ll suffer through the consequences of my actions.
For the next two months, I’ll accept whatever punishment she deems fit, all while fighting to save her business and the election.
