Page 140 of Love Arranged
A basket of the most colorful embroidered socks sits by the door, ready for whenever she visits. The framed photo of us at the cooking class is featured front and center on the entryway table in front of the latest bouquet of flowers.
But there is no greater reminder of my growing affection toward Lily than Daisy, who comes running down the hall togreet me. A smile pulls at my lips, widening as she loses her footing on the marble floor and crashes into me, nearly taking me down with her.
If Lily was here, she’d be laughing at me taking a seat on the floor so Daisy can sit on my lap. I’ve made fun of Lily for doing so, and here I am, giving in to Daisy’s wishes like I do with her mother.
I don’t know what possesses me to snap a selfie of Daisy and myself, let alone send it to Lily, but I’m disappointed when she doesn’t respond. Based on the time stamp, she saw it a minute ago, but my message remains unanswered.
Serves you right after doing the same.
Now Lily is the one with all the power, because piece by piece, I handed it over. There was no other option for me, and maybe I was a fool for thinking there was one.
So, instead of holding back and keeping my cards close to my chest, I send a second message—a first from me.
Me
The only thing that would’ve made this picture better is having you in it.
Despite being exhausted from tonight’s event, I can’t seem to fall asleep. I’ve tossed and turned for an hour to the sound of Daisy softly snoring in her dog bed, and I’m nowhere near being closer to knocking out.
It probably doesn’t help that I’ve checked my phone for any new messages from Lily more times than I care to admit. She most likely fell asleep already, so I scroll through our text thread because it’s the only option I have.
Some texts bring a smile to my face, while others make me roll my eyes at prior messages I’ve sent. I tried so hard to create distance, whether it be not answering her right away or leaving her on read, only for me to be annoyed at receiving the same silent treatment.
Is it fair for me to feel snubbed at Lily leaving me on read after all the times I’ve done the same? No, but am I still justified about my feelings regardless? Hell yeah.
But mostly I feel bad that she went to bed upset with me.
I blame insomnia-induced boredom for my bad decision to redownload the Eros app and reread the messages Lily sent me.
There is one in particular that makes me pause my scrolling, and I end up rereading it twice.
Ana
I didn’t want to pretend anymore. Just like I don’t want to pretend now. I don’t care if you’re Lorenzo or Laurence. I like you despite all the reasons I shouldn’t, and it makes me hate myself.
I could’ve written the message right now, as it applies to our current situation so well.
Clearly pretending is catching up to me, if my inability to sleep while knowing Lily is upset with me is anything to go by. And yes, against all odds, I like her too, which is why I can’tbegin to fathom the idea of her moving on to someone else and building a life with them.
Not when I so clearly picture her in mine.
To further prove my point, I turn on the TV and drown out the sound of Daisy’s heavy breathing. After flipping through the channels for a good five minutes, I settle on an old episode ofThe Silver Vixens.
I tell myself that it is the best show I could find, and I’m too tired to care if it reminds me of Lily.
I only have to find one man who doesn’t mind, Lily said after I teased her about falling asleep with the TV on.
With a frustrated groan, I chuck the remote and find a comfortable position. I don’t expect to be able to fall asleep, but eventually my eyes start to droop, and I end up drifting off to the sound of a nineties laugh track while wishing I was listening to Lily’s instead.
The next morning, I struggle to get out of bed. If it weren’t for Lily, I would’ve ignored my alarm, but I want to get to her house before she leaves for Mass with her mom.
Lily reads my text and opens the front door with a yawn, stunning me into silence as I take in her outfit. I was hoping last night’s colorful gown wasn’t a one-time exception, and thankfully it seems like my confident Lily is here to stay, and I couldn’t be happier.
Despite not being a morning person, she took the time to pull off an intricate-looking braided hairstyle, making herselflook like a princess with her cheerful sundress and high heels with butterflies on the straps. Her shoes are beyond impractical for the amount of walking we’ll have to do, but they’ll force her to rely on me for stability as we walk across the grassy parking lot, so I won’t be complaining.
On the contrary, I’ll buy a pair in every color to encourage such behavior.
She glares. “What are you doing here?”
