Page 50 of Spring Breakup
Vacation wasn’t real. The avalanche, the separation from their friends, the wild sex. It was like a movie. The good bits weren’t going to follow him home.
The crunch of boots sounded behind him, and his heart leapt to his throat in excitement. It was quickly followed by a cascade of dread and panic and distrust. His emotions were all over the place, and he wasn’t sure which one to grasp onto.
“I brought you coffee,” Dean said, his voice low and careful.
“Thanks.” Tyler took the steaming mug and sipped it. Dean had made it with just enough creamer to wake up Tyler’s sweet tooth. He tried not to dwell on that. It meant nothing that Dean paid attention to how Tyler liked his coffee.
“Those mountains are turning pink, but the sun’s not up yet,” Dean said. He had his own coffee. Black with a pinch of sugar. Tyler knew how Dean liked his as well.
The peaks across the lake were brightening quickly, going from blush to hot pink before their eyes.
“It’s beautiful,” he murmured. “That phenomenon has a name. Alpine-something? Alpen-something?” Tyler shook his head, frustrated that he didn’t know. “I’ll research it later.”
Dean took Tyler’s coffee and placed it on the wooden bench by their feet. Tyler let Dean wrap him in his arms and rest his chin on Tyler’s shoulder.
“Watch with me,” he said in Tyler’s ear.
Tyler nodded. They watched in silence as the sun made an appearance. As it got lighter and lighter outside, Tyler’s tension ratcheted up. Anxiety, sharp and metallic, sliced through him. Dean turned him so they were facing each other.
Dean’s expression seemed to sayAre you okay?andWhat’s wrong?andIt’s going to be fineall at once. But he didn’t say any of those things out loud.
Instead, he cradled Tyler’s cold cheeks in his hands.
Their mouths met—the most natural thing in the world.
Tyler sighed and slipped his hands underneath Dean’s jacket and shirt. His skin was warm and smooth. Dean tugged him closer. They kissed slowly, almost tentatively. Shyly, like a first kiss.
It was the best kiss Tyler had ever had.
He pushed against Dean chest. Pushed until they separated, and that separation carved out a piece of Tyler’s soul. It hurt.
“What was that?” Tyler asked.
“What did it feel like?” Dean said, cheeky humor in his voice, but it came out wrong.
“Dean.” Tyler frowned. He needed to get control of himself.
He neededDeanto get control of himself.
“It’s beautiful out here, and I wanted to kiss you. You deserve kisses like that, Tyler. Kisses in epic places. Kisses that are romantic and good andmeaningful.”
“It’s not sex.” Tyler took two steps away before rounding back on him. “We said sex only, and unless you’re about to drop to your knees and blow me in this godawful slush, that wasn’t sex.”
Dean lifted his hands in a so-what gesture. “I broke your rules. You’re right. And I’m sorry.” Dean placed his hand against Tyler’s chest. Against his heart.
Tyler shook his head, denying all the things Dean wasn’t saying. “You don’t care when things end, remember?” Tyler said, rattling off the reasons a relationship would never work with Dean. “You said ‘fuck feelings’ and ‘fuck relationships.’ You don’t open up to people or let your partners in.”
“I’ve never been more honest. I’ve told you in a million ways what I feel for you, Tyler. And I’ve tried to do it while following your awful rules.”
“No.” Tyler slipped in a patch of mud in his haste to put space between them but managed to stay on his feet. “These fucking boots.” He kicked a rock toward the lake, and it skittered down the bank. “This was a rebound.”
“A rebound of what?” Dean advanced on him. “A partner who didn’t appreciate that you’re smart and weird and wonderful? Who broke your trust six ways to Sunday and never made you feel the way I make you feel? A guy who broke up with me and all I felt was relief? They were stopgaps in our lives.”
“No, this is the vacation. The stopgap.”
“Not for me. Not for me at all.” Dean clutched Tyler’s shoulders. “Trust yourself, Tyler. Be honest with yourself. Because I know you feel this big, scary thing too. This is real between us.”
The sound of a vehicle coming from the direction of the avalanche stopped the ugly words from spilling out of Tyler’s mouth.
