Page 33 of Spring Breakup
Leo didn’t say anything, but Dean heard rustling on the other end of the line. “What are you doing?” Dean asked.
“Putting my pants on. If you’re not going to listen to us fuck, then you’re going to talk about what’s bothering you. Those are your choices, lover.”
Dean sighed. “Okay.”
“It’s only me on the line,” Leo said. “Rosie’s going to shower.”
“Okay.”
“We can talk about it. Whatever’s bothering you.”
“Viggo didn’t like you.” Dean hadn’t meant to say that. It had been a huge sticking point between them but wasn’t the reason he felt so unmoored currently.
“Well, then. Good riddance.”
“I don’t think I likedhimvery much.” Dean shook his head. “Why would I date a guy I didn’t like? Especially for a year.”
“Hmm.” Leo considered that for longer than the topic deserved. “You want the soft truth or the hard truth?”
“What’s the difference?”
“One might hurt.”
“Soft truth, then,” Dean said. “You’re the pain slut, not me.”
“It’s a protective measure. If you don’t like the person you’re dating, then it’s not hard when it ends. It’s just… nothing.”
“Yeah. That makes sense.” And Leo was right. That hadn’t hurt… too badly. Dean could have figured that out himself if he’d taken the time to navel gaze.
“One day, you’re going to let someone see the things that make you special. Someone beside me.”
That was slipping into hard truth territory, and Dean didn’t appreciate it.
“There’s nothing special about me,” Dean said with a laugh. He was a mediocre artist, a decent art teacher, a superficial friend.
“There is. You have so much love in your heart, but you don’t share it with anyone. I see it bottled up there. I see glimpses of it when we’re together.”
“How do I share myquote unquoteheart? Is that a skill that every preschooler is taught, and I wasn’t because my dad didn’t hug me?” Dean joked.
Leo, of course, didn’t take the bait. “Like every other skill, it takes practice. Maybe that’s what you should do with Tyler while you’re stuck together. Practice.”
Dean’s heartbeat quickly picked up, galloping in his chest. He hadn’t brought up Tyler. Purposefully. It was like pressing on a bruise.
“I don’t understand.”
“It’s low risk. He’s not a potential love interest. You’re both recently out of relationships, and neither of you are in a state to start another. So practice with the small stuff. Tell Tyler what you’re thinking rather than censoring yourself. Practice showing your emotions. Maybe open your heart up to friendship. Real friendship, not the transactional, shallow friendship you have with most people.”
“Hey.”
“What?” Leo said. He sounded smug, and Dean was regretting making this call.
“That isn’t small stuff to me.”
“I know, Dean.”
When Dean had almost kissed Tyler outside against the sign for Silverbrite Springs, he’d been showing every emotion, and it was awful. He’d been wide open and vulnerable, and it had terrified him.
And now Leo’s suggestions were antithetical to Tyler’s rules: they weren’t friends, they didn’t talk, and it didn’t mean anything.
