Page 48 of Perfect Matcha
“A long time. It was pretty hypothetical before you guys dated. I liked him, but I wanted to fuck around and party more. We were young. I thought I’d have time later but realized I’d lost my chance after you two got together. I was an arrogant asshole too. At the time, it never occurred to me that he wouldn’t want me back.”
“And is Theo the reason you’re turned upside down now?”
“Yeah.”
“What happened? You’ve been living pretty comfortably in the friend zone for a while.”
Camden found himself desperate to share, once and for all, but he couldn’t compromise Theo’s confidences like that, especially not to Theo’s ex-boyfriend.
He scrunched up his nose and sloshed red wine down his throat. He had no idea what kind it was—a wine connoisseur he was not—but it burned and tasted good in equal measure.
Choosing his words very carefully, he said, “Theo has a date tonight, and I’m jealous. Things have been a bit, umm, different between us lately, and it has me confused. We talked about it, though, and we’re back to normal. I don’t want what happened between you two to happen to us.”
Freddie scowled. “That story is so full of plot holes it might as well be swiss cheese, but let me get this straight. You’ve beendifferent lately—whatever that means, but I hope it means something hot—yet, you’ve decided to stop beingdifferenttogether because you’ve discovered that you’re not compatible, and you’ll never make each other happy.”
“What? No. That’s not—”
“That’s what happened between Theo and me.” Freddie’s eyes were far too shrewd, and Camden couldn’t help but feel like he’d stepped into a trap.
Camden shook his head. “I meant it isn’t worth ruining our friendship.”
“I’m friends with Theo. I like his Instagram posts all the time.”
A laugh slipped out of Camden, unbidden. “That’s exactly what he said. I want us to be more to each other than Instagram followers.”
“Yeah, you want to besoulmates. Which will be easy, considering the reality.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
Freddie downed the rest of his drink and grinned at Camden from across the table. Camden loved the guy, but damn, did he want to strangle him for talking in riddles.
“I know you don’t. During this period ofdifferent, did you ever once tell Theo how you feel about him? Because I know from experience that you have to be pretty blunt with him.”
Of course Camden hadn’t told Theo how he felt. That would involvetelling Theo how he felt, which was a ridiculous concept. The closest he’d gotten was telling Theo that their sex gave him complicated emotions, an admission that seemed to have caused Theo to shut down and disappear for days. Super great, and exactly what he’d been trying to avoid.
“The guy he’s going on a date with tonight is nice. He’s successful. He’s got a cool house and money and a degree.”
“Oh, fuck off, Cam. I really am going to call Cassie to knock some sense into you. You do realize you’re hot, don’t you? And I’m assuming you’re adequate in bed. Also—”
“Hey,” Camden inserted, but Freddie kept talking.
“You work hard. You smell good. And most importantly, there is not a single person in the entire fucking world who would love Theo as much as you love him. Not a single person who would treat him like you treat him. You have this soft spot for him that is so sweet and inspiring.” Freddie peered down into his empty glass. “I wanted that. I wanted someone to look at me the way you look at him. To take care of me, even when I don’t need it. To understand me. To help me. You were this shining, scary example of unconditional love, and I was so jealous. So I dumped Theo and went out and found it myself. Because he never looked at me like that, Cam. But he did look at you.”
Camden’s ears were ringing by the time Freddie finished. His tongue felt too big for his mouth.
He wanted to believe the things Freddie had just said, but it was so hard and scary.
Freddie reached across the table and stole Camden’s wine, taking a sip of it. It was so reminiscent of Theo that he laughed.
“You’re worried about ruining your friendship,” Freddie said. “But being in love with your best friend and experiencing that love in return is the most wonderful thing in the world. Oh my God, why am I not writing this shit down for my vows? You have to help me remember it all. Groomsman duty.”
Freddie whipped out his phone and started dictating into it. Camden leaned back in his chair and tried to untangle the hope Freddie had wrapped around him.
