Page 2 of Party Favors
Wren:Bullshit.
Amanda:Yep. You win some, you lose some. I seem to lose most.
September
Wren:I missed you while you were on vacation.
Wren:That’s a dumb thing to say, huh?
Wren:It’s not like we see each other every day or anything, but we usually talk every day. And I missed you.
Wren:Blah. Ignore me. I’m hungover.
Amanda: *Passes the virtual Tylenol and greasy eggs*
Amanda:I missed you too.
December
Wren:Ready for recent Tinder pickup lines?
Wren:This one is from Kyle, 28. He wrote, “If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit between the holidays?”
Amanda:OMG. Did you block him?
Wren:No. I told him, “Only if you do it mouth first.”
Wren:He agreed, but this time of year is busy, so he hasn’t gotten a chance to prove himself.
Amanda:My mother gave a man my number because she is super helpful. (Eyeroll) He sent me this text yesterday: “Wanna meet Santa’s little helper?” accompanied by a dick pic.
Wren:Oof.
Wren:What’s with the dick pics?
Wren:I want ballsack pics or nothing at all.
Amanda:LOL. I should swear off dating people my mother picks out for me next year. Maybe I’d actually get an orgasm at the hands of someone besides myself.
Wren:Ooo Ooo Ooo. New Year’s Eve resolutions for Amanda Ellis. I like this game.
Amanda:Wait, that’s not what I said.
Wren:Speed dating.
Amanda:…
Wren:More sex toys.
Wren:Hire one of those matchmakers for rich people.
Amanda:Wren! OMG.
Wren:I’m proud of that last one.
Wren:More sex toys.
Amanda:You already said that.
