Page 69 of Candy Hearts
“Liking someone has not been a prerequisite for me to spend a weekend in their bed and vice versa.”
She reached across the syrup-sticky table and grabbed his hand. “It’s about damn time to change that, sweet pea.”
He nodded, heat burning his eyes. “Yeah. I went on a date with him.”
“Oh really?” she said, a bit of teasing slipping into her dry voice. “And how was that?”
“Pretty bad, actually. But maybe also very good. Can I ask you a question about love? It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it. It might push some divorce buttons.”
She rolled her eyes. “Go on.”
“How do you think love is supposed to feel?”
“Are you in love with William?” she asked, alarmed.
Now it was his turn to roll his eyes. “Of course not. We just met. But how will I know? How will I know to trust it?”
She bit her bottom lip. “Shit, I need something stronger than a mimosa.”
“We don’t have to talk about it.”
He watched as Rosie constructed a wall around her emotions. Her face went mostly blank. “I’ve been in love twice. Once with Landon, of course.”
“The devil.”
She ignored him. “But the first time I fell in love, I was seventeen.”
“With who?”
She waved her hand. “Doesn’t matter. We broke up after graduation. With my husband, love was consuming and breath-stealing and wild. I couldn’t think rationally or behave myself. I didn’t like how it made me feel or act, but I couldn’t stop it either. The first time I fell in love, in high school, it was quieter. Different. There was more affection and discovery and wonder. I felt likemyselfbut the best version of myself. It didn’t hurt me to love him. It didn’t tear me down or break me into consumable pieces. It did the opposite.”
Benji nodded, enthralled by Rosie’s words. She was normally not so emotive or open.
“Love is an individual thing. It can be big or small or consuming or a breath of fresh air. It depends,” she concluded.
What Benji wanted was a love that didn’t try to change him or break him down, as Rosie had put it. William had never asked him to change, but Benji had kept him at arm’s length out of fear, insecurity, and self-preservation. At some point, Benji had to trust other people to hold his heart with care, and frankly, he’d never met anyone as worthy of trust as William.
Benji wanted a love that made him his best self, that existed in the small moments—the flat tires and the awkward conversations—as well as the big ones, like on a bed of rose petals or a stage in front of everyone.
A stage in front of everyone.
“Oh shit. I know what I need to do,” he said.
Rosie smiled wryly.
A sudden din made them both jump. Sasha had dropped her purse and coat next to Benji before plopping into the booth beside Rosie.
“Hiya,” Sasha said. She stole Benji’s mimosa and downed it in one go. “What is our emergency brunch topic today?”
Benji glanced at Rosie and grinned. “Don’t worry. I think I’ve got it settled.”
Chapter Twenty
The Bach Auction had come together with a bang. William’s business partner was running interference to ensure it went smoothly, and he was staying out of her way. He was the numbers guy. She was the people person. She liked it when he stayed out of her way.
But right now, he wished he was busy. His heart was beating fast. He was sweaty. He felt awkward posted up at the bar by himself, and he was scared Benji wouldn’t show. The auction was already underway, the dance floor busy with bidding, and William hadn’t seen any sign of him.
He was scared he’d never see Benji again, honestly.
