Page 67 of Candy Hearts
Benji rushed on, “You should bring this baby to your dealership first thing tomorrow morning.”
“Yeah. I can take you home. You ready?” William smiled pleasantly, but his expression harkened back to that muted blank canvas when he’d first opened the door to an unexpected Benji at the lake.
“Yep.”
William drove Benji to his apartment, caution lights blinking. They didn’t really speak. It took forever because William couldn’t drive over thirty miles per hour. Benji squirmed uncomfortably in the senselessly comfortable front seat. He’d never hated an Alfa Romeo Giulia more.
When William reached Benji’s apartment, he threw the car into park and turned toward Benji.
“I know this date didn’t exactly go as planned,” William said.
“No. Not exactly.”
“You seem upset.”
It was a bit of a shock to realize that William was right. Benjiwasupset. He had been trying to push the emotion down, telling himself that it was silly and immature and self-absorbed to be so disappointed in their evening. This had felt like a test of their mettle, and they’d failed.
“I wanted it to be good.” Benji stared out the front windshield. “I wanted to be good for you.”
“Hey. You were great, and I don’t want you to be anyone but yourself.”
“I found your list,” Benji said impulsively. “Your ‘Prospective Partner Criteria.’ I saw it when I came to pull you out of your office on Saturday morning. It was on the top of your bookshelf. I’m not that person, William. I’m like the opposite of that person.”
The blood drained from William’s face. “Oh.”
“Yeah.” Benji laughed, but it wasn’t funny. “I don’t want to try to change who I am to appease a guy. Never again. But I also want you to have the partner you deserve.”
“Wait. Hold on. I’m trying to remember what I wrote on that list. I’ve hardly thought about it since I met you.”
“You want someone who is older and rich and boring.” Damn, but Benji was feeling bitchy about that.
William stared for a beat before a shocked laugh burst forth. “No. I want you. I was writing that list when you showed up. Within three hours, do you know what I was thinking?Benjiis my list. I want someone who back-talks and teases. Someone who challenges me and makes me laugh. Someone who is dirty and sweet and complex and earthy as fuck.”
Panic blared through Benji. This was exactly what he’d wanted to hear, but his brain wasn’t ready for it. He shook his head, as if he was saying, “No, no, no.”
William continued, his voice strident now. “Within a day, I was thinking that I needed to add a bullet point about sunrises and a bullet point about the scent of watermelon and a bullet point about grease under your fingernails. And you and you and you. I want you. That list is nothing.”
“It didn’t feel like nothing to me. Not when I found it and didn’t match a single fucking criterion, William,” Benji spit out. “We just had a DEFCON disaster date. And even without the spilled spaghetti and even without the flat tire and aborted plans, you took me to the fanciest bar in the entire world and ordered a twenty-five-dollar glass of wine, and I couldn’t think of anything to talk about, and I feltso stupidand—”
“Hey. Whoa,” William said, cupping the side of Benji’s neck. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I wanted to take you somewhere fancy, but I misjudged. I’m not in my element at those places either.”
“I had to Google things on the menu at the restaurant. I had no idea what half the stuff was.”
William laughed, and Benji’s stomach dropped.
“Why do you think I ordered the spaghetti?” William said.
Had Benji completely misread everything tonight? He bumped his head against the back of the headrest. He’d never been this mortified on a date, and he’d had his fair share of shitty ones.
“Sweetheart,” William said. “Look at me.”
Benji did, his heart rebelling at William’s gentle tone.
“Remember when we talked about love? And you said you thought it’d be big billboards. Do you remember what I said?”
Benji gazed into William’s eyes. “Yeah, I do.” He’d said that love was in the small disasters.
“Tonight, when the waitress dropped my plate, I thought, ‘This is as funny as when Benji knocked the watermelon off the counter,’ and ‘I can’t wait to laugh about this with him later.’ When the tire blew, I thought, ‘God, I love his eyes,’ and ‘I hope he teases me about this.’”
