Page 50 of Candy Hearts
The tension in the circle broke as everyone chuckled. William sent Benji a thankful glance.
“I … uh. I don’t have an excuse for being so absent other than the fact that building the business was exhausting,” William said finally. “I love you all, and I’m sorry.” He took a deep breath. This was painful. “Back in November, I woke up one morning and realized that I hadn’t talked to anyone in three weeks who didn’t want something from me. I realized that I had money and security and could actually slow down for once. I realized that I was horrendously unhappy and lonely, and it was my fault. I’ve not been a good friend, and I hope you can forgive me. I understand if you can’t.”
The fire snapped, a log rolling and sending up sparks. William, unforgivably, felt as if he might cry. Wren and Sasha both seemed to launch themselves at him, wrapping him in a big hug. Maybe he hadn’t ruined everything after all. He buried his head in Wren’s neck and said, “Thank you. I’m sorry.”
“Is that why you’ve started calling me once a week?” Avi asked, and William laughed a little humorlessly.
“Yeah.”
“Do you have ‘Call Avi’ written in your calendar?”
William rolled his eyes. Avi obviously knew that he did. “I’ve missed you.” He peered around the circle. “I’ve missed all of you.”
“Well, stop. I hate talking on the phone,” Avi said, his voice brusque. “If you wanna talk, you need to text me. Or like, drive across town and buy me a drink.”
“Deal. Speaking of drinks, I need a refill. Anyone want one?” William really just needed a second alone. Everyone shook their heads. He extricated himself from Wren and Sasha’s arms.
Sasha grabbed his hand before he was out of reach. “William,” she said softly. “I was being catty, and I apologize for putting you on the spot. I mean it. We’re good. We’re all good.” She gestured at their friends around the bonfire. “I promise.”
He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed her fingers. “It wasn’t catty. It was true. And thank you.”
He escaped to the house. He needed something stronger than champagne after that.
“You okay?”
The voice behind William made his throat ache. He turned to see Benji, looking serious for once, in the doorway.
William nodded and Benji swooped in for a hug.
“That was kinda brutal,” Benji said, whispering in William’s ear. “The lonely thing—that’s why you’ve started dating again?”
William nodded again and tucked his face into Benji’s neck. “Should have focused on my friends instead.”
Benji kissed his ear. “Sounds like you’ve been trying to do both.”
William shrugged.
“You can’t change the past, but you’re making a change for the future. And you’ve been nothing but open with me,” Benji continued. “You’ve given me room to be open with you, which has never been easy for me. You’re a great guy, William. Everyone out there loves you. They understand.”
“And the guy in here with me?”
“Plans to spoil you tonight instead of the other way around.”
Chapter Fifteen
Benji waited for William in the master suite again. The electricity had never come on, so Benji was armed with two candles—the rest had been passed out to the others—a spare blanket, and extra wood. Benji, Perry, and Manuel had gone to bed early to let the original friend group patch their shit up.
He could hear laughter downstairs—his sister’s brash cackle mingling with Robin’s husky chuckle, Wren’s giggle, Avi’s dry voice, and William’s snort—so hopefully, it was all good in the neighborhood.
Benji wanted to blow William’s mind, but some gut instinct told him it didn’t need to be rockets and acrobatics, that William might need a lighter touch tonight. Benji desperately wanted to be what Williamneeded, and that was different than being what the men in his past hadwanted.Need versus want. It was the difference between kindness and niceness, between acting from the heart or reacting through his insecurity.
These thoughts were spinning through his head as William snuck into his room at one in the morning, a bottle of bubble bath, two glasses, and a bottle of champagne in his arms.
“It’s after midnight, so Happy Valentine’s Day,” William said, his voice a little timid. “You still want me?”
Benji was doomed. He’d been doomed from the start. This beautiful fucker, coming in here all shy and self-conscious and bearing gifts. Want and need, man. Benji needed him, and he’d never, not in a gazillion years, reject William O’Dare, standing there with his heart in his hand.
William had changed out of his jeans and J. Crew sweater and into the pajamas that absolutely turned Benji’s crank. He could not handle William in those flannel bottoms.
