Page 42 of Stocking Stuffers
“I’m happy you did too.”
Talk about an understatement. He made her fucking fly.
“How do you view sex?” he asked. “You said rebounds depend ‘on how you view sex.’ What do you mean?”
“I guess I mean whether it’s a big emotional schmaltzy experience for you or if it’s a fun release of tension. Both are good.”
She pictured his eyes before he’d come. The way they’d widened, the vulnerable hitch of his eyebrows, as if he was in some kind of emotional pain. She’d needed to touch him, to feel it—his emotions, his release.
As hot as the whole experience had been, it had also struck her heart like an arrow. She’d felt it to her very core. Their connection, the intimacy.
“Right. But what is it to you? Are you telling me emotions are never involved?” Perry’s voice wavered with hurt.
“Of course not. I don’t sleep with people I don’t like and enjoy, so there are always emotions there. Fondness, tenderness. But I don’t allow myself to get attached.”
Considering she was thinking about stealing Perry’s flannel, that was a big-ass lie. She was more than attached, but she wasn’t brave enough to face what that meant.
Letting him in for a few days, over the course of a snowstorm, was very different than opening up completely. And that was what a relationship was—the breakdown of every barrier and wall she’d built up around her heart as protection.
She wasn’t sure she was ready to do that yet. Or if she ever would be again.
* * *
Perry wantedto make her see that they could fit together, that he was worth the trouble.
It would be a Christmas miracle if she agreed.
He was taking control of his life. He’d left a career that he didn’t enjoy, enrolled in school, moved back home. And part of him wanted to try to take control of this situation too. To bully Sasha into seeing how wonderful they could be together.
But he wasn’t a bully. He was easygoing and loved romance novels. He wasn’t going to use the vulnerability of the moment to try to convince Sasha to change her mind about relationships. She was adamant, and he respected her.
So instead, he kissed her until she was relaxed in his arms. He was going to enjoy these last moments with her before she drove off in the morning and he never saw her again.
She traced her fingertips over his tattoos, and he rubbed his hands over her long legs and back. They touched and kissed for ages, the only light in the room coming from the Christmas lights.
It was beautiful. Sasha looked like a festive lumberjack in his red and green flannel shirt. The room smelled of sex and pine needles. It was a filthy Christmas fairy tale.
He never wanted this moment to end, so he fought sleep like the devil.
“I’m so glad I met you,” he said, as her eyes began to close and her legs went heavy against him.
She smiled slightly, her full lips quirking at the corners. “I’m glad I met you too. I wish I were different, Perry. I really do.”
His heartbeat seemed to freeze in his chest before taking off at double-time. “What do you mean?”
“You’re taking advantage of my sleepiness.” She leaned in and kissed him below his Adam’s apple.
“Guilty,” he said, running his hands through her hair. “You don’t have to tell me.”
She huffed and snuggled closer. “I never had big family Christmases as a kid. We did a couple presents and a fake tree and then frozen pizza. As an adult, I was determined to change that. I wanted to have the big Christmas dinners with the beautiful decorations and all the wonderful traditions.”
“That makes sense.” He caressed her cheekbone and tried to brace himself. He was sure she was about to drop a bombshell on him. The hurt in her eyes was killing him.
“What better way to make Christmas special than a Christmas wedding.”
“Oh no.”
Sasha laughed wryly and pushed into his hand. “I was left at the altar on Christmas Eve last year. He just didn’t show up. I’d planned this big holiday-themed spectacular. Everything was red and green and glittery. I threw my heart and soul into making this beautiful winter wedding. It was going to be festive, and happy, andperfect. His best man broke the news to me right after I’d put on my wedding dress.”
