Page 48 of We All Live Here
“No. That was great. Could have done with more detail but, hey, let’s see how the Diet Coke goes down.”
He looks completely unruffled. She lets out a long breath. “Sorry. I haven’t been on a date—or a non-date—since 2004.”
“When’s your next?”
“Probably 2044.”
“I can tell you about my last, if it makes you feel any better.”
“Not really. Not if it involved a delicious frisson, an amazing meal, and then loads of perfect sex.”
“It involved an overpriced pizza and my date bursting into tears and telling me all about her ex-boyfriend. Whom she is definitely, definitely, definitely not still in love with.”
Lila pulls a face. “Ouch.”
“First and last go on the apps. I should have been warned that we weren’t suited when she listed her interests as ‘makeup.’ I don’t know if I’m cut out for relationships. Not modern ones, anyway. I’ve kind of shut up shop on that front.”
Lila starts to laugh. “Oh, God. It’s just all so…awful. Eleanor made me download one of those apps last year but it was like peering into the use-by section in Tesco. Everyone my age looked like they were well past their expiry date, or so bashed around that nobody was going to pick them up unless they were absolutely desperate.”
His laugh is an abrupt bellow that makes the people around them turn to look. “How old are you, anyway?” he says.
“Forty-two. You?”
“Thirty-nine.”
“Oh, you’ll be fine,” she says, leaning back in her seat. “You’ll be looking at the early thirties. You’re considered in your prime.” Like Dan. “Good-looking, young, a man, you’ll be fixed up in no time, even if you’re not looking. Someone young and gorgeous.”
He eyes her quizzically. “Why would you do that?”
“Do what?”
“I’m literally three years younger than you. Possibly less. And you’re talking to me like I’m your nephew.”
“I don’t know.” She picks up the beer mat and fiddles with it. “Maybe I just…feel old.”
“No, that’s not it…You need distance.”
“What?”
“You need to push someone away before they can get close. Or just make out like there’s no possibility of anything between us, so that you can’t feel vulnerable, especially if I don’t make a pass at you.”
She feels herself bristle. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“No judgment. I just see the dynamics. Years of therapy, I guess.”
Lila pulls a face. “Don’t therapize me.”
“I’m not. I’m just observing.”
“You can observe what you like. Doesn’t make you right.”
“No, it doesn’t.” He takes another sip of his drink. “But I am.” He smiles.
“Wow. You can be quite annoying.”
“So my sister tells me. But you did it when you met me, remember?”
She folds her arms. “No, I didn’t. I was notoverly friendlyon that occasion because I thought you were going to steal my car.”
