Page 71 of The Giver of Stars
She would retreat to a far corner and read one of Margery’s 122 books, or she would lie awake through the unlit hours, her thoughts periodically interrupted by the sounds emerging from Margery’s bedroom and their frequency. Their uninhibited nature and unexpected joyfulness left her feeling first acute embarrassment then, after a week, curiosity tinged with sadness at how Margery and Sven’s experience of love could be so different from her own.
But mostly she would sneak glances at the way he was around Margery, the way he watched her move with quiet approval, the way his hand strayed to her whenever she was nearby, as if the touch of his skin on hers was as necessary to him as breathing. She marvelled at how he discussed Margery’s work with her, as if it were something he took pride in, offering suggestions or words of support. She noted that he pulled Margery to him without embarrassment orawkwardness, murmuring secrets into her ears and sharing smiles lit with unspoken intimacies, and it was then that something in Alice would hollow out, until she felt there was something cavernous inside her, a great gaping hole that grew and grew until it threatened to swallow her whole.
Focus on the library, she would tell herself, pulling the counterpane up to her chin and blocking her ears.As long as you have that, you have something.
13
There is no religion without love, and people may talk as much as they like about their religion, but if it does not teach them to be good and kind to man and beast, it is all a sham.
Anna Sewell,Black Beauty
In the end they sent Pastor McIntosh, as if God’s word might hold sway where Van Cleve’s could not. He knocked on the door of the Packhorse Library on a Tuesday evening and found the women in a circle, cleaning their saddles, a bucket of warm water between them, chatting companionably as the log burner roared in the corner. He removed his hat, folding it to his chest. ‘Ladies, I am sorry to interrupt your work but I wondered if I might have a word with Mrs Van Cleve here.’
‘If it’s Mr Van Cleve sent you, Pastor McIntosh, I’ll save your breath and tell you exactly what I told him, and his son, and his housekeeper, and anyone else who wants to know. I’m not going back.’
‘Lord, but that man is relentless,’ muttered Beth.
‘Well, that’s an understandable emotion, given the high feelings of recent weeks. But you are married now, dear. You are subject to a higher authority.’
‘Mr Van Cleve’s?’
‘No. God’s.Those whom God has joined together, let no man put asunder.’
‘Good job she’s a lady, then,’ muttered Beth, and sniggered.
Pastor McIntosh’s smile wavered. He sat heavily on the seat by the door, and leaned forward. ‘You were married under God, Alice, and it’s your duty to return home. You just walking out like this is … well, it’s causing ripples. You need to think about the wider effects of your behaviour. Bennett’s unhappy. His father is unhappy.’
‘And my happiness? I’m guessing that doesn’t come into it.’
‘Dear girl – it is through domestic life that you will achieve true contentment. A woman’s place is in the home.Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church, and he is the saviour of the body. Ephesians, Chapter five, Verse twenty-two.’
Margery rubbed vigorous circles into the saddle soap without looking up. ‘Pastor, you know you’re talking to a room full of happily unmarried women here, right?’
He acted like he couldn’t hear. ‘Alice, I urge you to be guided by the Holy Bible, to hear the word of God.I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully –that one is from the first epistle to Timothy, Chapter five, Verse fourteen. Do you understand what he is saying to you, dear?’
‘Oh, I think I understand, thank you, Pastor.’
‘Alice, you don’t have to sit here and –’
‘I’m fine, Margery,’ Alice said, holding up a hand. ‘The pastor and I have always had interesting conversations. And I do think I understand what it is you’re telling me, Pastor.’
The other women exchanged silent looks. Beth gave a tiny shake of her head.
Alice scrubbed at a stubborn patch of dirt with a rag. Shecocked her head, thinking. ‘I would be much obliged if you could advise me a little further, though.’
The pastor steepled his fingers. ‘Why, yes, child. What is it you want to know?’
Alice compressed her mouth for a moment, as if choosing her words carefully. Then, without looking up, she started to speak. ‘What does God say about smashing your daughter-in-law’s head repeatedly into a table because she had the audacity to give two old toys to some motherless girls? Do you have a verse for that one? Because I’d love to hear it.’
‘I’m sorry – what did you –’
‘Perhaps you have one for when a woman’s sight is still blurred in one eye because her father-in-law smacked her so hard in the face that she saw stars? Or what’s the Bible verse for when a man tries to give you paper money to make you behave as he wants you to? Do you think Ephesians has a view on that? Fifty dollars is quite a sum, after all. Large enough to ignore all kinds of sinful behaviour.’
Beth’s eyes widened. Margery thrust her head down.
‘Alice, dear, this – uh – this is all a private ma –’
‘Is that godly behaviour, Pastor? Because I’m listening really hard and all I’m hearing is everyone telling me whatI’mapparently doing wrong. When actually I think I may have been the godliest one in the Van Cleve household. I might not spend enough time in church, granted, but I actually do minister to the poor and sick and needy. Never looked at another man, or given my husband reason to doubt me. I give away what I can.’ She leaned forward over the saddle. ‘I’ll tell you what I don’t do. I don’t call in men with machine-guns from across state lines to threaten my own workforce. I don’t charge that same workforce four times the fair amount for groceries and sack them if they try to buy food anywhere but the company store, until they run up debts they’ll diebefore they can pay back. I don’t throw the sick out of their company homes when they can’t work. I certainly don’t beat up young women until they can’t see, then send a servant over with money to smooth it over. So tell me, Pastor, who really is the ungodly one in all this? Just who needs a lecture on how to behave? Because I’m darned if I can work this one out.’
