Page 46 of Big Boss
“Of course.” The words fall out of my mouth automatically, but I can barely keep up with this conversation. Everything is happening too quickly and none of it makes any sense.
I scan the photos again, the entire page full. There are no less than a dozen different angles of the two of them making out and several of her draped across him, a hand or even her face and all her mega blonde curls snuggled into his lap. The one where he’s holding her up is just one of many where she’s got her arms wrapped around him and is staring at him with complete adoration.
“Look, I’m going to have to find him. If you see him, have him call me right away. I’ve had every news outlet in town asking for a comment, and I need to know if she’s going with him to the First Steps fundraiser in light of all this sudden publicity.”
I want to scream at Jackson that Tate had already askedmeto go with him. Why is Tate’s best friend suddenly talking about him bringing Bella LeGrande as his date?
I blink, but the photographs don’t change or disappear. It’s still her and Tate locked in an extremely photogenic series of kisses.
I swallow, but everything about this situation is so painful that it’s difficult to keep from making any noises of distress. I was supposed to be Tate’s date for the fundraiser. He’d asked me himself and bought me the gown and everything. And I had to believe that he’d told his best friend about us going together.
But I suppose if I were a billionaire rock star and record producer, I would probably choose to go out with fancy Bella LeGrande rather than Weirdly Ridley too. Obviously.
“Well, if you find him, maybe you can let him know something.”
I can practically hear this man grinding his teeth. “Oh? What is it that you wanted me to tell Tate?”
I straighten my spine and my face. “You can tell him that I can’t be here to watch over him anymore.”
I hang up and make tracks as fast as I can for my place. I can’t sit here one minute longer, especially if there’s even a tiny fraction of a chance that Tate is going to show up with hisnew girlfriendin tow.
I don’t think I can stand even one tiny second of looking at her gloating smile while she wraps herself around Tate like a sparkly blonde spider monkey.
And I definitely can’t handle the slightest possibility that Tate would see my misery over his unexpected rejection written all over my face.
That whole cooked-up scenario with us and the gala and me in a fancy gown was supposed to be fake, but it certainly felt real enough to me when I had to leave the office and head back to my sad, empty little apartment.
And if there’s anywhere lower on the scale of emotional well-being than being sad over the breakup of your fake relationship with your boss, who you definitely shouldn’t have slept with, well. I don’t ever want to know anything about it.
16
Tate
I thoughtJackson was messing with me, but when I finally went into my office, I could tell she was gone. Her little weird knick-knacks were gone from the desk, and there was a mountain of emails waiting in my chair along with five separate colored overlays. The sticky note on top said “Try these.”
Even as she left me to be here all on my own, she was thinking of ways to help me.
Eventually, I’m sure it’s going to feel real. But for the first few days at least, I could pretend like she’s coming back. Like maybe she’s picking up coffee, or handling some sort of gala emergency with her ruthless planning and scheduling system.
I called Jackson. “She’s really gone.”
“Yes, that’s what I told you.” There’s a lengthy pause on the line. “Don’t you think that may be all for the best?”
The air leaves my lungs. “No, I don’t.” There. He’s allowed to have feelings, but so am I.
“Don’t bullshit me. I saw what she did to you, and it was awful having to see you like that.” I can hear the bitterness in his voice, and I feel for him, but this isn’t his story. It’s mine.
“Jackson.” I pause and think about what needs to be said. How much does he really need to hear before he listens?
“I know what you’re thinking. This isn’t about me and Nikki.” He sounds sullen, but maybe he means it.
“It isn’t. That’s exactly what I’m trying to tell you. Whatever is happening with me is mine to figure out, and if I make a choice that you wouldn’t, that doesn’t mean I’m wrong.” I’m trying to be gentle with his feelings, but that’s what got us into trouble to begin with. “This is my life to mess up, okay? You can mess up your own life.”
Maybe he doesn’t need me to be gentle. Jackson deserves to hear the truth about his behavior.
“Jackson, this thing with Nikki has changed you—and not in a good way.” My best friend is strong enough that he deserves better. I don’t want to watch him slide into the doldrums the way that I did.
“You think I don’t know that?” He sounds angry, but that’s fine with me. He’s been angry for a while now, and it’s time for him to get to the other side of this. I don’t want my best friend to go through any of what I did when I was alone and felt like my entire life was falling apart in public.
