Page 33 of Big Balls
I shake my head. “I’m not very hungry,” I lie. I’m starving, but not for food.
Ethan looks at me suspiciously but lets the subject drop, and I go on pretending like he can’t see that I’ve been thinking about his kiss again.
It was one kiss, and there’s an entire history being written between us now that should have obliterated it from my memory. But how can I not be hung up on a man who is ultimately tender and sweet under his surly exterior? When Ethan Alexander is a great dad to his little girl, there is nothing sexier in the world to me.
“Okay, Katydid, why don’t you wash up and get ready for bed?” His lazy drawl oozes sex appeal, but that’s probably my imagination getting carried away. No matter what I might have thought that day that he apologized to me outside his house, he definitely isn’t putting the moves on me.
After the obligatory fussing, Katy skips off to hum and sing her way through her bedtime routine. And the man who occupies too many of my thoughts turns all of his attention to me.
“Zoe, I want to thank you again for coming back to us. Katy’s having the time of her life because of you.”
I duck my head as his words make my heart sing. I’ve got to stop the runaway thoughts that are taking over the entire thinking part of my brain. I was the one who has made the decision that nothing can happen between me and Ethan, no matter how much my body wants to be next to his.
“Yeah, I appreciate you coming with us on our adventures. I hope you’re enjoying seeing Katy try out new things and flourish.”
I can feel the heat from his gaze, even though I can’t bring myself to look up at him. “You’ve given me a wonderful gift by bringing my daughter out of her shell. I’m so grateful for having this time with her.”
I finally look up at him, and being on the receiving end of his singular focus is almost too much for me to bear. He’s so intense about everything he does that even the simple act of having him look at me is enough to turn me into a fumbling, blushing mess.
Or is it because I can’t stop staring at his lips, thinking about what his mouth would taste like?
“What are you thinking about?”
I startle at his question because I definitely cannot tell him that I’m thinking about kissing him basically all the time when I’m not specifically thinking about something else.
After a brief, awkward moment, I shake off his question and give him a small smile. “I’m thinking I’d better be going home. It’s a long drive, and I’m pretty wiped out from all the apple picking.”
He tilts his head and weighs my answer. “Maybe you should move in here; then you wouldn’t have a commute at all.”
I suck in a sharp breath. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Mr. Alexander.”
His eyes linger on my lips again, or is that my wishful thinking?
“Why not?” His voice is light, like this is a casual chat about something inconsequential, not him broaching the topic of me moving into his home where he is occasionally naked.
And now I’m thinking about the man across from me naked. I feel like he can read every dirty thought I’m having written all over my face, but if I keep stalling on answering, it will be even more obvious that I have something to hide.
“Aren’t we supposed to be keeping things professional here?” There’s a tiny quaver in my voice, but I hope he doesn’t hear it.
He leans back in his seat, resting his arm indolently across his thigh. And now I’m staring at his thighs. Sheesh. “I believe I’ve been holding up my end of our bargain. Wouldn’t you agree?”
I nod. “I do. But I’ve only ever lived with my family or at college. I don’t think it’s—” My voice breaks off as Katy zooms back into the room and climbs onto her daddy’s lap.
“What are you talking about?” she chirps, her eyes darting from me to her father. I can’t tell if she can sense the tension that’s thick in the air between us right now, or if that too is simply a product of my overheated imagination.
“Well, Katydid, I asked Miss Zoe if she wanted to spend the night here.” His eyes don’t leave mine when he says it, and I can feel the heat of my embarrassment.
“A slumber party? Daddy, you’ve never let me have a slumber party before.” She turns her pretty face to me then gives me the biggest, saddest puppy dog eyes I’ve ever seen her use.
Oh, crap. This little girl is basically weaponized cuteness already. When she turns on the full force of her charm, she could topple entire empires.
“I don’t have any clothes or a toothbrush or anything.” I pause as her lower lip juts into a pout. “Maybe another night, okay?”
Ethan is still staring at me, and I want to squirm under the intensity of his focus. But he waves his free hand casually. “I’ll just have some clothes and a toothbrush and things brought to you. It’s no big deal.” His words are in that same too-casual tone that is in direct conflict with the heat in his eyes.
Or am I only seeing what I want to see?
“Please can we have a slumber party, Auntie Zoe? Daddy will take care of everything you need.”
