Page 31 of Big Balls
“I hear you, Zoe. I told you I’m willing to pay whatever price you want.” I clench my hands into fists to keep from reaching for her. “Katy is better with you. And we need you in our lives.”
Her nostrils flare, and her lips part for just a moment before she speaks. “Let me make something perfectly clear to you, Big Balls.” Her tone is vicious as she draws out that ridiculous nickname and I fight myself not to cringe back and cover my assets.
“I’m not here for you. I’m only here because Katy deserves the very best in her life, and I’m going to give it to her.”
I lick my lips. “Okay, I’m listening to you.” Although my pride is stinging at her rebuke. “What do you think she needs that she’s not getting?” I brace myself for whatever she’s about to say.
“She needs you, Ethan. Katy deserves to have adventures with you, too. So if we’re going to do this, you need to step up and be a part of our adventures. Quit sitting on the sidelines of your daughter’s life.”
Zoe’s words are a gut punch, and I’m left reeling. But I’m hardly in a position to argue with the one person who seems to hold the keys to my daughter’s happiness.
I straighten up and nod slowly. “Okay.”
She eyes me, suspicion written all over her face.
“I don’t do things halfway, Zoe. If you want me to be in on your adventures with Katy, then I’m all in.”
She stares at me for a long moment. “Don’t think this means that I’m ready to forgive you. You’re still an asshole.”
She’s not wrong. “I don’t think that. But let’s put that aside for now and think about something fun to do with Katy before fucking Sebastian ends up buying her a litter of puppies.”
At those words, she startles for a moment then holds out her hand for me to shake. But just as I did with Aunt Opal, I take her hand in mine and flip it over to plant a kiss on the back of her hand.
She sucks in a breath, and for a moment I’m half afraid she’s going to punch me. When she pulls away from my touch this time, it hurts almost as much as if she did.
She gives me a hard look, as if I were a snake that had bitten her. “Listen. We’re not doing this thing”—she gestures between the two of us with her hand, the one I’ve just kissed—“so whatever you’re thinking, you need to stop.”
I nod, all business. “Of course. I’m not thinking anything.”
She scoffs. “At least that part I believe. Now let’s go get your kid.”
10
Zoe
When Ethan Alexandersaid he was all in, he really meant it.
I pack a picnic lunch, and the three of us head to a park nearby. He spreads out a red and white checkered blanket that he probably bought specifically for our picnic, and then puts a giant fake plastic ant on Katy’s sandwich, and belly laughs when she shrieks and throws it at his head.
And if I stare at him a little too long when he lets loose with that deep, delicious laugh, it’s simply because I’ve never heard him laugh out of happiness before.
On the way back, we each hold one of Katy’s hands, and he looks over at me with a shy little smile still lingering on his mouth. “Thank you for today.”
I shrug one shoulder and feign a nonchalance that I definitely do not feel. “It was peanut butter and jelly and some chips. Don’t make it into a big deal.”
His lips curve up into a fully devastating, panty-destroying smile that causes an entire swarm of butterflies to launch in my stomach. “You know what I mean,” he chides playfully, swinging Katy’s left hand to sync up with when I’m swinging her right one.
She giggles. “Yeah, Auntie Zoe. You know what he means.”
I do. I know exactly what he means.
It’s nice between the three of us. Easy in a way that I wouldn’t have expected given the ongoing tension from before or his huge meltdown at the hospital. But since we’re grown-ups who specifically chose to put all of that behind us and start a new chapter, we’ve been getting along remarkably well.
Something shifted between us that day outside his home, when he asked me to come back to work for him.
I’d been so worked up at the time that I wasn’t thinking about it then, but now that we’ve declared a truce, I have nothing but time to think about what’s going on between us. Or what’s not going on, because he’s very careful to not touch me these days, like I’m a scared animal who would bolt at a moment’s notice.
Maybe he’s not wrong. The humiliation of that scene and my firing at the hospital has not yet faded, but each time he shows a little more of this tender side of himself, the sting of his behavior fades a little further into the background.
