Page 68 of Big Balls
Ethan squeezes his eyes shut. “Come on, let’s all go inside together. Just for a minute or two, okay?”
I’m completely mystified at this point, but we go into the reception area, and Ethan murmurs something to the woman at the front desk.
She cringes and summons a doctor, and now I’m starting to panic. “Ethan, what’s going on?”
“Zoe, you’re going to need a quick X-ray, okay?”
I stare at him like he’s lost his mind, because what is he even talking about? “Why would I need an X-ray?”
“Well, you ate something you weren’t supposed to, and we need to make sure you’re going to be okay.”
I still at his words. “Look, this isn’t funny. Hospital stuff isn’t funny to me at all, so let’s go home and forget about it.”
Ethan gives me the most miserable look I’ve ever seen on him. “Just one X-ray, okay? Then we’ll talk to the doctor and go home.”
“What did you feed me?” I hiss at him as we’re being walked down to the radiology waiting area.
“You’ll see soon enough.” He pulls Katy in between us, and a few minutes later, we’re being called back.
The technician takes several views of my stomach, and then pages the doctor to look at the films.
We wait a few moments, and then the doctor comes in to see us. “Well, first of all, everything is going to be fine. I’m sure that gave you quite a moment, but in most of these types of cases, everything works itself out in a day or two.”
Ethan sighs, still looking like his favorite sport got canceled. Forever.
“So do we need to do anything?”
The doctor hands me a small dish. “You need to make sure you go in there and then rinse through it until you find the object. If it’s been more than four days, call your doctor and have them order a second X-ray.”
And now I’m definitely freaking the fuck out. “What did you do to me, Ethan Alexander? Why are we talking to a doctor, and why did I have an X-ray?”
The doctor looks a little flustered for a moment, then excuses herself and slips out the door, frowning a little bit at Ethan.
My eyes bore into him until he finally looks up.
He flips a switch on the viewing table, and the film illuminates. There’s something round on the X-ray. But what’s round and in my stomach that would show up on an X-ray?
Oh shit.
“You didn’t.”
He nods miserably. “You didn’t even chew. What’s the matter with you, Zoe?”
My face reddens immediately. “Nobody chews ice cream, you monster. What is wrong with you?”
He looks so miserable. “Let’s go buy a different ring. Then I can hand it to you and you can choose not to put this one in your mouth, okay?”
Katy’s eyes flick from her dad to me. “Wait,” she says. “Why did you get Auntie Zoe a ring?”
Ethan shakes his head miserably. “Never mind. She ate it, and now it’s going to be a poop ring.” He gives me the biggest puppy dog eyes he can muster. “Can we please go get a not-poop ring right now?”
My heart is jumping around inside my chest. “It’s late. All the ring stores are closed.”
Ethan gives me a look. “I can make a couple of calls. They will open for us tonight if I ask them to.” He rubs his fingers and thumb together like he’s holding a wad of cash, and I make a face at him.
Katy is bouncing up and down now, like a little spring has been installed in her. “What kind of ring? What kind of ring are you buying forMiss Zoe?”
Ethan takes her hand and kisses it. “An engagement ring, little bitty. I want Zoe to be in our family. Officially. Forever.”
