Page 19 of Big Balls
I snort, and plop the phone on the bed between us. We watch the timer click by as the scratchy music slides into “The Eye of the Tiger.” I give Katy a warning look. “I know you know all the songs played at the stadium, but give me a minute until I get ahold of your daddy.”
At that moment, a call comes through from Ethan Alexander.
“Shit,” I bite out, then look over at Katy. She mimes zipping her mouth like a zipper. I take a breath and accept the call, switching it off speaker so she can’t hear whatever he’s going to say to me next.
“You’d better have one hell of a good explanation for why I was just pulled off the field and benched with over a quarter left to play.”
The weight and ferocity of his voice makes my mouth go dry, so I take a quick sip of water and then answer him. “Ethan, I need you to sit down.”
I can hear the shift in his mood when his breathing changes. “You know this isn’t a joking matter, right? This is my fucking job.” I can’t see him, but I can imagine his eyebrows drawing together in obvious disapproval.
“I’m not making a joke. I need you to sit down. Everyone is okay, but I need you to sit down for this conversation.” I force my leg to stop jiggling.
“Are you sitting down now? I have to tell you something, and you’re going to get upset, so I need you to sit down first.” I am amazed at how calm my voice sounds. If I didn’t know better, I’d think I was infinitely reasonable and in control of the entire situation.
I don’t sound at all like I’ve just been crying and trying not to let the little kid in the room see my actual human being tears less than five minutes ago.
“Yeah,” he finally says, cutting off my runaway thoughts. “I’m sitting down.”
“Okay, we are both okay, but I had to bring Katy to the hospital. The doctor said she’s broken her arm, and I—”
My voice quavers, and I have to stop talking in order to keep back the tears. I hate this. I hate that when I’m upset, I cry. It doesn’t matter if I’m sad or angry or simply embarrassed, it all looks the same. It makes me feel weak, and I am not a weak person.
Ethan still hasn’t said anything. I pull the phone back and look to see if the call has dropped.
“Ethan?” I finally manage. “The doctor is going to need to talk to you about surgery.”
“Zoe. Did you seriously pull me off the field to tell me that my daughter is in the fucking hospital with a broken arm because you screwed up when taking care of her?”
His words land like punches across my body. I can’t breathe, and my stomach is churning. I pull in a shaky breath and try again.
“I’m so sorry I’m calling you about this, Mr. Alexander.” I pull my hand free from Katy’s and turn my back on her so she can’t see my face.
“She’s my daughter,” he roars, his pain bleeding through the phone. My feelings tumble around like a ship about to be wrecked in a storm.
“I know.” I try to soothe him. “I know how much you love her, and I’m so, so sorry.”
He takes in a sharp breath, and it shreds the last bit of my composure, leaving two fat tracks of tears down my cheeks.
“You don’t understand. It’s my entire life’s work to keep her safe. You were supposed to help me.” The words flay my heart open, leaving me bleeding out on the other end of the call.
I make a choking sound, and he swears under his breath. “You’re going to have to quit crying, or Katy is going to get upset.”
I nod, but he can’t see me, so I finally manage, “I know that.”
“Well then you’re going to have to act like you know that. You’re going to have to keep her calm until I can get there.”
I wipe my nose with the edge of my shirt, and when my eyes slip over to check on her, Katy gives me a grossed-out look in return. I want to roll my eyes, but I also want to get the yelling part over with so he can help me get Katy the medical care she needs right now. I’m willing to let him be angry with me later.
And I’m angry, too, but I don’t get to take it out on anybody. I mean, there’s the nurses and the doctors, who I want to help us instead of me making them mad because I’m upset. And then there’s Katy, who is hurt and scared. And that leaves only me and Ethan “Big Balls” Alexander, and I can’t exactly get angry at him.
One, he’s my boss. Like my actual employer. Two, he’s a good father who cares about his daughter. His protectiveness of her makes something pull and ache in my heart. I can’t be upset with him for being even more worked up than I am.
“I’m coming there right now. Don’t you dare move from her side until I get there.” His voice is sharp and dripping in condemnation.
“I won’t. I’m right here with her.” I reach for her tiny little fingers. “I’m holding her hand until you get here.” I let out a little gasp. “But what about your game? I’m so sorry I had you pulled from the field.”
He growls into the phone, “Like I give a fuck about football right now.”
