Page 36 of Last First Date
But the call goes straight to voicemail. Either her phone is off, or she's blocked me. I try again but get the same result.
"Shit," I mutter. "I think she blocked my number."
Daniels tilts his head at me. "What exactly did you say to her, boy genius?"
"Nothing that bears repeating. Let me use your phone for a minute though." I reach toward him and gesture for him to hand over the goods.
He shakes his head at me. "I don't think a drunken phone call from my number to the lieutenant is a good idea, probie. Maybe she's just got her phone off. Or maybe she's really mad at you right now."
I snort. Obviously, she's really mad at me right now. I mean, I get it. I'm really mad too. The whole way things shook out this morning was about as bad as it could possibly be.
"Or maybe she's just better off not hearing from me after all. I was just a one-time mistake to her. We weren't even supposed to get together. She's always been up front about wanting to date a man like Hesse Kotner."
Daniels’ lips curl up and his nose wrinkles. "That photographer from the calendar shoot? Huh. I could have sworn that he was ogling me, not Darcy."
At that, I laugh. "Daniels, you think everyone you meet is ogling you. I hate to be the one to break it to you, but it's not always the case."
He shrugs. "That's just your opinion, man. I can always tell when someone is into me."
K.T.'s voice rings out from her office again. "No, you really fucking can't." Sheesh. She really has some kind of supersonic hearing. She might as well be standing right here if she can hear everything we’re saying to one another.
"Listen to K.T. if you don’t want to hear it from me. You really can't tell, Daniels. Trust me on this one." I shrug. "If it makes you feel any better, I can't tell either, apparently."
He shakes his head. "Don't go feeling all sorry for yourself. This is not the time for a pity party."
"It most certainly is. This is absolutely the shittiest I've felt in a really long ass time."
Daniels shrugs. "Worse than when you got canned by Dewey Cheatham and Howe?"
I snort. "I got canned because of money and politics. Specifically because Al Romig is a fucking hypocrite asshole. So, no. That didn't bother me at all." I finally take the last shot that I've been holding on to and swallow against the burn of the liquor.
"Besides, I'd never have gotten the chance to do push-ups with you sitting on my back if I hadn't lost my ridiculous lawyer job." I bat my eyelashes at him and pucker up my lips to make a kissy face at him.
"Gah," he yells. "I'm never putting my butt on you again, you pervert."
Opal Marie Hopf struts in through the door and lets it bang shut behind her. Then she slides in between us without wasting a moment. "Well, well. I obviously came to the right place. Now tell me some more about how young Mister Abernathy here is a pervert."
Daniels chokes on his drink, and I smile at her in spite of myself. "Hi, Aunt Opal. How's your pussy?"
Daniels stares at me, then his eyes slide to our town's resident dirty old lady. "Really? Another cat this time?" He shakes his head disapprovingly at her. "You've got to come up with some new material."
Aunt Opal waves him off. "Why don't you make yourself useful and hand me a beer." Then she fixes her gaze on me. "Now what's going on with you, Mister Abernathy? Why don’t you tell me, and I'll try to help you come up with a plan. You know I’m the best matchmaker in this entire town."
What can it hurt, right? I take a deep breath and look her right in her face, and then I spill my guts.
Darcy
"You look gorgeous, darling." I writhe under my mother's relentless scrutiny, but it's not making me feel any less uncomfortable, so I take a deep breath and force myself to quit squirming.
"I feel like a sausage in this thing. A sausage playing dress up." I try to check out the size of my butt in the mirror, but there's no good way to see it from here and maybe that’s all for the best.
I turn to my mother and look carefully at her face. I like to think I can tell when she's lying, but maybe I'm only kidding myself. "Are you sure this dress looks okay on me?"
A slow, smooth smile spreads out across her mouth. Like a dress rehearsal smile. Something she's been practicing or maybe just saving up for the day she finally gets to see her daughter in a fancy party dress. "You look like quite the princess tonight, darling. I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time."
I smile back at her, but it feels tight and uncertain on my face. I probably look like I'm in pain. Well, maybe that's because that whole ugly business with Abernathy still really hurts. Not even a little, but a whole hell of a lot.
I'd expected him to give me the brush off the morning after, but instead he blew up at me for crap that went down long before we’d ever even kissed.
