Page 43 of Last First Date
Iignore the women around my mother and shove my way through the crowd until I'm directly next to her. "Mother, can I trouble you for a few moments please?"
"Of course, darling," she answers easily. Then she air kisses toward the sizeable knot of sycophants around her and wraps her arm around mine as we head for one of the patios. I'm seething, and even the way she got herself out of that group bothers me, setting all my teeth on edge.
I just can't cope with all the quiet power struggles of this type of gathering. When it comes down to it, I prefer plain speaking and honesty in people. Even when it comes to basic social interactions over drinks or conversations. At gatherings like this, I feel like every single word that falls out of my mouth is being weighed, measured, and found lacking because I won’t play these kinds of games. I sigh.
"What's going on, darling? You seem rather upset," she announces, then pats my arm with her delicate fingered hand.
I'm actually surprised that she noticed, to be honest. I usually get the feeling that my mother only pays attention to things that directly involve her, her money, and her social circle. For her to notice that I'm feeling upset is actually a big surprise to me.
"Well, yes. You know I came here with Hesse Kotner, mother. You remember, you wanted us to go to the gala together." I pause and try not to glare at her. Maybe if I hadn't made this stupid date with Kotner, I'd have been here with Abernathy instead. Okay, probably not, but it's at least worth thinking about.
She laughs breezily, as if it's no big deal that she basically threw me at some rich trust fund scion more than once in an attempt to secure little heirs and heiresses for her to play dress up with. "Well yes, darling. And where is Hesse?"
I shuffle my feet, and then look up and meet her gaze. "Probably kissing some rich guy's ass, mother. He's the worst person I've spent time with in ages."
She swats at me. "Darcy, I raised you better than that. You know if you can't say anything nice, then you'd do better to keep your mouth quiet."
I sigh. Of course she'd turn this into another manners lecture. "And stop doing that thing with your feet. You'll ruin those heels."
I can't even deal with this right now. I'm beyond upset by the way this whole evening has been going and she's worried about my shoes of all things."Mother, that's just it. When I feel embarrassed, I get the wriggles. I know you're above that sort of thing—"
She laughs again, another little tinkling windchime type noise. Ugh.
Can't she see that I'm trying to have an actual conversation with her here? Maybe she can't have real conversations about anything other than money. Or social etiquette lessons. Or whatever it is that she's thinking about all day long while I'm fighting fires and serving my community.
I stop walking and turn to face her."Mother, please. I'm trying to talk to you about something serious."
She nods and reaches for me again. "Darling, it's okay. I'm listening. Now go ahead and tell me what's bothering you. I'm ready to hear it, whatever it is."
I take a deep breath. "Well, here's the thing. I came here with Hesse Kotner like you wanted, but it was absolutely terrible. He's not my type of guy at all."
She pinches her lips together. "Well darling, you know how I feel about those firefighters that you dated before. A rough, smelly bunch of beer drinking men." She shivers in disgust.
"Mother, here's the thing. I'm a rough, smelly, beer drinking firefighter. And I'm damn good at what I do." I pause. "I like who I turned out to be. I know I'm not the daughter you wanted or pictured for yourself, but can't you like me for who I am?"
My pulse is racing. I've lived my entire life without ever laying it all out like this with her. My mother is wonderful, very loving and kind to me. But she's also extremely polite, and I've just always felt like the bull in her china shop. Like I couldn't help but break all the things that she holds dear just by virtue of who I am.
My mother pulls me in for a long, tight hug of all things, then fusses a little with my hair. "Darcy, I hope you know by now that I love you for exactly who you are. I could not possibly be any more proud of you, darling. And you are damn good at being a firefighter. I've heard nothing but praise about how you're doing as a lieutenant, and I think you should be proud of yourself too." She pulls back and gives my shoulders a little squeeze.
"I am proud of the work I do." I pause. "But I've always felt like you wanted me to date a certain type of man. You know, that upper crust, manicured type of guy. A trust fund kid like Hesse."
My mother waves her hand in front of her face like she's shooing away the silliness of my words. "Don't be like that, darling. You know you can't judge whether a man is good at heart by the size of his bank account. If Hesse Kotner is that preoccupied with social climbing and money, then he's definitely not the right man for you even though he isn’t after you for your money."
Huh. Well, that's news to me when she's the one saying it. I must have those thoughts written all over my face, because she gives me one of her no-nonsense looks. "I wanted to match you up with Hesse because he does a lot of charity work, both in photography and law, and I know how important giving back to the community is to you. You really need a man in your life who gives back to Valentine in the same way that you do. There's no way that you'd be happy with a man who was only out for himself."
I manage to close my mouth and nod, trying not to let all my feelings trickle out from my burning eyes and ruin my fancy makeup. It turns out my mother has been paying attention to who I am, and the real underneath parts that I don't usually talk about. I became a firefighter because I wanted to make our hometown better and safer. And I get the most satisfaction from my job when I feel like I'm giving of myself, even if it's just in small ways like giving a mean kitty like Honey Boo Boo a good home.
We can't all be in it for the hot chicks like Abernathy, I guess. To him, all women are a commodity. Heck, to him, I'm only looking for a man to use as a commodity. He's put me in the same league as the Hesse Kotners of the world, and he couldn't be more wrong about me.
"I wish I could find a guy who understood that about me. I feel like most of the guys at the station are in the job just for the badge bunnies."
My mother sighs, undoubtedly at the way I'm talking about that certain type of girl who chases cops and firefighters. Well, sorry. We're not at a fancy tea party discussing the latest selection for book club. We're discussing the abysmal state of my love life right now, and sometimes that needs a little blunt talk.
I need a man in my life who knows how to deal with my blunt talk. The way I thought Abernathy might, right up until he threw me out with a bruised heart and feeling like yesterday's trash.
"You know who would be perfect for you?" she coos at me, smoothing my hair again between her long, slender fingers.
"Oh mother, no." I shake my head at her. "I literally just finished telling you what a disaster your last matchmaking set up was."
