Page 106 of Games We Play
Leah lifted her head. Tears continued to slowly slide from beneath her blindfold. “I want to forget what you might or might not feel for me. Please. Make it go away.”
That one hit Sloan harder than if Leah had accused her of being incapable of love. The thing that worried Leah the most… the thing bearing the most weight upon her heart right now… it was whether Sloan could ever love her? Want her? Keep her forever? Protect her from the darkness of the world and the shadows lurking in every corner? God damnit, what good was Sloan’s money and influence if she couldn’t make someone like Leah feel like nothing else in the world mattered… except their love?
Love. Please, don’t tell me… I really am in love with her.
Sloan had opened her heart to the possibility of love, that was all. The thought she mightactuallybe in love with Leah already… that was too hard. Too much to bear. She was her girlfriend, not her eventual wife.
A wife. I could have a wife instead of a husband.How had she not thought of it like that until that moment?
“You know what?” Sloan kept her tone even, although her heart pumped so much blood through her body that she almost choked on the beats. “You don’t have to worry about that. Ever. Because if there’s anything I can assure you tonight, Leah, it’s that I love you.”
That last spank would have broken bonds if they weren’t already so strong.
Chapter 33
With every spank came relief… and a reminder of everything holding Leah back from her fullest potential.
Her job, her family, her relationship… they were only three facets of her life, but they were the most important, the most overbearing fears and hopes to infect her soul over the past thirty years. How had Sloan known how to kill them in one night? Perhaps it was only a temporary fix, but for now, when the jolts of exquisite pain came in four steady strokes, Leah was allowed to float away on a cloud that had never existed before.
Or maybe it had. Maybe it had always floated before her, asking her to join it on a nighttime ride once or twice a week, but she had been too blind to see it.
Sloan had told her to wad up her fears and expel them with every spank. Well, it happened. The moment Leah thought of something, she quickly forgot it again. Soon, there was nothing left except the intense need to simplybe.
And to make love, but only because Sloan was there, and no number of blindfolds could make Leah forget how beautiful her lover was.
Lover.
Love.
She loves me?
That was the elation she needed to hop on that cloud and blast off into the heavens. As soon as the pain of that final spank subsided, Sloan planted her tongue between Leah’s thighs and made sure she felt nothing but intense sexual pleasure.
It worked. Now barren of negative, toxic thoughts, Leah embraced the wilder side of sex. The hedonistic urges to pursue nothing but pleasure were now her best friends, her companions, her old lovers. She hoped Sloan had the same thoughts.
The best part about ascending with that cloud was losing all track of time. Nothing was linear anymore. One minute Leah was on her stomach, dress on and her girlfriend eating her out as if the end of the world quickly approached and this was their last chance to taste what made them human. The next? Perhaps they were naked together beneath the covers. Maybe Sloan kissed her with cum-drenched lips and demanded some attention between her own legs. It was also possible that neither happened. It happened twice. A loop occurred. Over, over,overagain. They couldn’t be stopped. They couldn’t make sense of what their bodies did. All Leah embraced was the burning knowledge that this was what it meant to achieve nirvana.
Could it be described as orgasmic? Or was it limited to pure mental ability, and her body shaking in endless orgasm was a mere side effect? Was it the mutual love they shared? The expert skill with which they physically communicated? Or had they achieved a spiritual plane that only couples like them understood?
This is what I always wanted.A lover who understood her need to relinquish control, because everyday life was stifling. A woman who posed no threat and was instead a harbinger of female pleasure. A partner who could absorb her fears and tribulations, as if she lived on the sustenance those emotions provided. A symbiotic marriage that could only be achieved by their extreme – yet complementing – personalities.
Not a single word was shared for the rest of their lovemaking. Whether they were tangled beneath the covers, where their bodies became as “one” as possible, an endless loop of one beginning where the other ended, or they stretched across the top of the bed to better enjoy the moment, they were silent aside from the moans and cries of two people celebrating what made them unique.
The longer it went on, the closer Leah came to achieving nirvana. She didn’t fear anything. She didn’t worry, have anxiety, or fretted about what would happen come tomorrow. Her heart was only open to Margaret Sloan, the woman who had freed her from the invisible chains holding her to the earth.
Unfortunately, the higher one climbed, the easier it was for her to fall.
“Oh,God!” Sloan’s voice cracked as the wail she saved only for orgasm took her out for the rest of the night. Her fingers were inside her lover, and Leah would never remember whereherfingers were, or what her mouth did, or how she contributed to this glorious moment ruining Sloan’s life. All she knew was that this was the purest moment either of them had shared with another human being.
They lay in stillness for most of the night. Leah was frozen beneath Sloan’s body, lightly clinging to her in the hopes that she would never leave. Time may no longer be linear, but at some point, they would resume their lives in the way they were meant to be experienced.
Leah didn’t know how it happened. All she knew was that one moment she was married to peace, and the next?
Crashing.
It had happened before, but not like this. Because halfway down, she came face to face with every single fear she had thrown into the ether only a few seconds before. She looked them in the eyes and realized she would never, ever truly be rid of them.
She crashed through the floor, lower than when she started at the beginning of the night.
