Page 52 of Empowered
“Oh my God, don’t even.”
The men in Sarah’s life, unfortunately, did not know how to shut the fuck up. “I think about it every day.”
“Trust me when I say it sucked more for me.”
“I know, but what hurts you hurts me too.” Sarah knew from the way his words caught in his throat that there was something else he wanted to say. “I think of it as our baby that was stolen from us.”
“That’s the most incestuous thing you’ve ever said. No wonder people think we’re fucked up.”
“I’m serious. I was going to help you raise it.”
“Him.”
“Yeah, him.”
Sarah rolled back over away from her brother. “You would’ve been an awesome uncle.”
“Crazy, huh? Never was sure if I wanted kids. But when you told me you were pregnant, one of the first things I thought was that I couldn’t wait to be an uncle.”
Now that’s never going to happen.Unless her doctors were wrong about the infertility foisted upon her.And if I ever do miraculously get pregnant, we’ll probably both die.Where was she in this decision? Who got to decide this on her behalf? Some old shit who stroked himself into a wheelchair?
What the fuck did Lucas really know?
“If you knock your girlfriend up,” Sarah said, “you’re on your own, buddy.”
Nigel reached back and awkwardly patted her arm. “I knew you had my back.”
“Shut up and make us some popcorn. I wanna get fat before work tomorrow.”
“Okay, but put some pants on. And you say I’m the reason people think we’re incestual…”
Sarah waited until she heard the microwave in the kitchen before slipping off her bed and looking for a pair of yoga pants. She hoped there was good enough late night TV on, because she intended to eat popcorn, drink more wine, and fall asleep on her brother’s shoulder. But as she nodded off to the sounds of Stephen Colbert interviewing Hollywood’s latest it-girl, she wondered if Lucas was in his penthouse wishing she were there with him.
She then wondered why she cared at all.
