Page 39 of Crash
“Tessa, you do the finale. Does this mean you are coming back sooner?”
“No. I wish, but I think Courtney will do me the honors and take the lead on this routine.”
She looks at me, astonished and happy at the same time. “Oh, sis. Thank you so much. I promise I won’t let you down.”
“You betta not. Austin will be on your ass if you do.” We share a laugh and embrace.
“I’m so sorry this happened. If we could’ve waited five more minutes—”
“Courtney, it’s okay. Now rehearsal is dismissed.”
Our new facility has separate showers and dressing areas. The team goes their ways and I experiment with the music. One of my favorite songs comes on and the pain wretches in my chest. It’s the song I danced to last month that sealed the approval for the financial backing. I try to keep myself busy, so I’m not upset, but the tears betray me and fall, anyway.
“Hey, love. Are you ready? I rented that movie you’ve been wanting to see.”
Austin’s voice carries through from the other side of the room. Good thing he can’t see me at this moment.
“Uh, yeah,” I say, clearing my throat. “I’ll be over there in a second.”
His hands snake around my waist, and he places sweet kisses on my neck and cheek. “Babe, I am so fucking hungry. I went for my workout today so I can prepare for my exam next week to be a full-time paramedic.”
“Mm-hmm,” I respond. A drop falls from my eyes and onto his hand.
“Whoa, whoa. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing. This song just... I’m okay.”
“Tessa, don’t hold back. Tell me.”
Some dancers leave. “All right, T. We’ll see you tomorrow,” One of them shouts. They all wave and walk on out the door.
“Come on, babe. I grabbed us some Sylvia’s for dinner.” He takes my hand and me, not paying attention, releases the handbrake on my scooter and I take a tumble.
“Fuck,” he exclaims. “Here, let me help you up.”
“Austin, No. Just stop catering to me. I got it,” I snapped. “How else do you think I’m gonna get better if you keep trying to do everything for me?” I continue to yell, and it catches the attention of those remaining in the building.
Some scurry through the front doors without even saying by, while others slink back to the dressing room. Come to think of it, there’s an exit on the other side.
“Tessa, why are you yelling? I’m just trying to help you.” Austin’s frustrations get the best of him. He paces slowly with his hands in his hair, and streaks of red adorn his face. “You’ve been pushing back against me for a while now and frankly the shit is irritating me. It’s like you don’t want me to help. I’ve been here for you the entire time, making sure you get to your appointments, making sure you eat, helping you whenever.”
“That’s just it,” I yell.
“What’s just it?” he replies, his tone elevated.
“You’re always there. It’s like you think I can’t do anything without you. Like, I didn’t ask you to come pick me up. And I am thankful, but you’re smothering me. I’m capable of calling for a ride to my appointments. I’ve been under your care for the past three weeks, nearly a month, and it’s just too much. I’m sorry. I’ve been wanting to tell you to back off a bit, but I was afraid that you’d take it the wrong way.”
“Oh, is that how you feel?”
“Yeah. it is.”
“Fine. Figure out how you're gonna get to your folks. I’m out.” He storms out, the glass door closing hard after he exits.
I take my equipment and throw it across the floor, falling in a ball of pain and despair. The emotions are overwhelming, and I can’t hold them in any longer. I cry at the thought of us not being together.
Courtney rushes to my side and holds me.
“Shhhh, I know Tessa. I’ll talk to him.”
