Page 80 of Shattered Hope
I fisted my hands and hoped the man stopped mumbling and went straight to the point. “Yes… I understand… what seems to be the problem?” I asked, with my best fake smile on, as my heartbeat painfully in my chest, not sure how I would cope with bad news.
“Well… when you were admitted to the ER, they performed what we call the emergency blood test panel. It includes the basic tests and a few others that we might need to consider, in case of an emergency,” he explained.
Trying not to lose my patience, I nodded. “Yes, I understand.”
“One of those tests is a pregnancy test.”
I closed my eyes for a moment, gathering all the strength I had left, preparing myself for what would come.
“It came back positive, as you’ve probably guessed, but you were such bad shape, healing you was the doctors’ priority,” he continued. “So, they disregarded the results and proceeded with all the procedures needed to save your life.”
“Why are you telling me this now?” I asked him, frowning.
“When you were transferred here, the doctors told us to repeat the test, once you were stable enough. The chances were, it would come back negative, due to the ordeal you went through, so we ran a special test that would tell exactly what was happening: if you had really been pregnant and if you still were pregnant.”
“I guess it came back negative… I’m no longer pregnant,” I interrupted him, in a stern tone.
“That’s the thing… it didn’t,” he replied, playing nervously with the tablet. “We believe you didn’t miscarry because the assault happened so early in the pregnancy. The embryo was so small it wasn’t affected.”
I looked at the man as if he was speaking Mandarin. “What are you saying?” I managed to ask.
“You’re pregnant.”
His words echoed in the room, and for a moment, the world swirled around me at light speed. “I see…” I muttered, still in shock. “How old is it now?” I asked as a terrible though crawled into my mind.
“It’s probably four weeks old, at the present moment,” the doctor explained. “Though some women can get a positive pregnancy test the day after conceiving, it’s very unlikely.”
I took a few deep breaths and nodded.
“We need to run a few more tests, but apparently, everything is quite well with the baby,” he continued, with a slight frown, clearly unsure of how to interpret my reaction. “I can send a counselor to discuss your options whenever you’re ready, of course,” he offered.
“My options?” I asked, still a bit off, having a lot of trouble to process the whole thing.
“Yes… but you don’t have to worry about that, right now,” he added. “Just focus on getting better, and we’ll talk about this when we get all the results back.”
I nodded. I heard his words as if from faraway, but I was definitely not listening to them.
Pregnant. I’m pregnant.
“Get some rest,” the doctor finally said, before he rushed out of the room.
I smiled, and I remember thinking the young doctor still had a lot to learn about bedside manners.
I was still smiling when Jayden got in. My smile slowly faded.
“Everything all right?” he asked, looking worried.
“Yes… all good… just, you know… girl stuff…” I mumbled, not sure what to tell him.
I sure as hell couldn’t tell him the news, not when he still thought I had taken the morning after pill, as I should have.
This was my fault… my mistake, my responsibility. How was I supposed to tell him I was pregnant? I had no idea where I stood right now, and throwing this at him would only end in sheer disaster. I needed time to think things through.
He nodded, but I could tell he wasn’t convinced. “I’ll prepare everything to take you home tomorrow.”
I almost sighed with relief. “Yes, please… I can’t wait to leave,” I said, with my brightest smile.
Jayden leaned over and kissed me. This time, his lips lingered a bit longer over mine, and I wished I could pull him closer and lose myself in the passion that had always burnt between us.
