Page 17 of Back in the Texan's Bed
No, she was through hoping for the impossible with Ross. She was done three years ago, when he hadn’t fought for her before she left Royal. It’d been her fault that she’d fallen in love with him knowing he could never offer that love in return.
She wouldn’t be guilty of such blind devotion again.
“Ross,” she said, shutting the door behind her. “What are you doing here at my job?”
“Tomorrow morning, I’m headed to Dallas for the next few days for meetings,” he replied, his scrutiny flicking over her body before returning to her face. She convinced herself that her breasts didn’t feel heavier, her belly didn’t tighten and her sex didn’t pulse from that cursory glance. She didn’t feelanything. “I needed to settle things between us before I left. Charlotte—” the full, sensual curves of his mouth flattened before he continued, voice deepening “—I don’t want any more time than necessary to pass by without me being in Ben’s life or getting to know him. I’ve already lost so much of it.”
“I—” She sighed, briefly closing her eyes. “I don’t want you to, either, Ross.”
“Then you believe me?” he pressed, shifting forward, his intense gaze hot on her face. “You believe that I didn’t know about the phone call, the letter. AboutBen.”
“Yes,” she murmured. “I do. But it doesn’t change the fact that he doesn’t know you. All he’s ever known is me. We have to introduce you to him with care. I’m not going to disrupt his life or upset him.”
Ross nodded. “I agree... Which is why I want him to live with me.”
Horror and shock punched the breath from her lungs, and she could only stare at him. He intended to sue her for custody? Anger surged through her, a backdraft of emotion. And not just at him for planning to take her baby away from her. But at herself for actually believing he’d changed, that he wasn’t selfish and self-absorbed any longer.
“I’m leaving,” she said, turning away. There was nothing else for them to discuss—
“Dammit, wait,” Ross growled, long fingers wrapping around her upper arm, drawing her to a halt. She tensed under his hand, hating the heat that radiated out from that firm grip. Hating that it seemed to brand every part of her. “I’m sorry. That came out wrong. Shit, Charlotte. I’m so far out of my depth here. Just...Just give me a minute.”
Ross.Apologizing?She froze for an entirely different reason now. It was the apology and that frustrated, helpless note in his voice. Two things she’d never heard before from this confident, arrogant, charismatic man. It astonished her enough that she slowly pivoted, facing him again.
He released her, but her skin under her chef coat continued to throb as if his hand still clasped her.
“I don’t want just Ben to live with me, Charlotte. I want you to move in with me, too.”
Jesus, would he stop throwing verbal punches today? Just when she recovered from one, he opened his mouth and another plowed into her, pilfering her equilibrium.
“That’s your idea of easing into this change?” she rasped, incredulous.
“Yes,” he said. “Live together platonically as co-parents. So Ben can have you and me under one roof, raising him together.”
“So, basically shacking up,” she scoffed, shaking her head. “No, thank you.”
“Charlotte—”
“No,” she interrupted him. “Do you know what finding out I was pregnant and unmarried did to my relationship with my parents? Almost wrecked it. Healing that rift is part of the reason I returned to Royal. Now you want me to just obliterate all the progress we made by telling them I’m moving in with a man—withyou? I won’t do it.”
Informing them that the heir to the Edmond Organization was the father of their grandson already promised to be one hell of an uncomfortable conversation.
“So we’re supposed to live according to other people’s views or opinions?” he challenged. “This is our son, not theirs.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” she slung back. “You’re Ross Edmond, Rusty’s son. Heir to a fortune. No one would dare criticize or ostracize you. I can’t live for myself, Ross. I have other people I’m responsible for, indebted to. And yes, I care about my parents’ opinion. I’m not willing to lose them again.”
“Fuck,” he growled, thrusting a hand through his hair, tousling the ruthlessly styled strands. He paced away from her, halting in front of the far wall and staring at it for several long moments before whirling back around. “Charlotte, I feel like I’m clutching a handful of sand and it’s steadily slipping through my fingers, no matter how tightly I hold on to it.” He stretched his arm out, thrusting his fist forward, then peeling his fingers open, spreading them wide. “That’s the years I’ve missed. The milestones I’ve lost. I can’t get those back, and I’m trying so hard to grab on to the ones ahead of me. Every day that passes without me there is another day, another minute where something else could happen that I’ll miss.”
She blinked, taken aback by the vehemence, thepassionin that plea. This man wanted his son. Wanted to be a part of his life. As a mother, as a woman with a heart, she couldn’t deny him. Couldn’t deny Ben, either. Because the truth was, although single mothers raised children all the time and did a damn fine job of it, there were things she couldn’t teach Ben about manhood. There were things only his father or a male role model could. And while she loved having her father and brother-in-law in his life, they couldn’t replace Ben’s father.
She owed it to her baby boy to give Ross a chance to be a real father.
But move in with him?
She couldn’t.
“I don’t want to take that away from you, Ross,” she murmured. “You should have every one of those moments, but...”
I can’t compromise one more standard for you.
