Page 82 of His Unforgettable Bride
The piano playing resumed, and the bird whistled. Juliet wouldn’t have stumbled over Gray in the woods if not for the parakeet. So much—and especially her heart—had vastly changed since then. Did Gray think about her half as much as she pondered him?
She yearned for his smile across the room and missed challenging him at chess, even though he always let her win. The sound of the town’s chiming bells was a painful reminder of their shared moments, and the absence of his warmth in every room was a constant ache.
And she missed kissing him. She missed that a lot. But she craved more than intimacy. His loyalty made him irresistible, not to mention his kindness and wit.
Tears welled in her eyes, blurring her vision. She sipped her tea as the evening wind creaked the rafters. Even the house mourned and complained about his absence. Who could blame it? Certainly not her.
Finally, she rejoined the sisters and settled onto the deacon’s bench beside Livy’s chair. Then she shifted her head to the left. Did the Currier & Ives hand-colored lithograph hang crooked? Yes, and she’d straighten it later.
Too bad her cockeyed life wasn’t as easily fixable.
As another hymn began, Tabitha sang along. Her alto voice was warmer, smoother, and sweeter than heated syrup over Icala’s flapjacks at breakfast. Wound tight, Juliet slowly relaxed to the soothing music until Tabitha crooned:
>>>“Just as I am, though tossed about,
With many a conflict, many a doubt;
Fighting within and fears without,
O Lamb of God, I come, I come!”<<<
Just as I am? The exact four words that graced the first page of her grandfather’s journal. What a peculiar coincidence.
“Whatever is wrong, dearie?” Livy lowered her long knitting needles to her lap.
Juliet blinked aside the tear caught on her lashes. Pesky thing. “It’s nothing. This song reminds me of my grandfather, is all.”
“It is lovely and poignant. Did he sing it to you once upon a time?”
“Not that I recall, but he wrote ‘Just as I Am’ in his journal, which I still have. I always wondered why he opened his diary with those words.”
After Tabitha finished the song, she rose and moved toward the shiny deacon’s bench. Her much-loved slippers shuffled across the floor, offering a sense of coziness that even Juliet felt. “That song always makes me weep, and I never weep.” She released a little lady-like sigh as she sat beside her. “I suppose I’m convicted to stop carrying around my strife and lay my worries at God’s feet.”
Juliet half-heartedly nodded and set her teacup and saucer on the carpet. Whether from the tender song or rattled by Henry’s leaving and Ruby’s possible return for the jewels, she contemplated talking to Him again. What did she have to lose?
Tears swelled inside her, and she swallowed the bundle. She refused to turn into a blabbering idiot in front of the sisters. Or even God. How precisely did someone place their worries at His feet, anyway?
Her stomach spun, and she pressed her hand against the constant motion. She’d already lost the man she loved. Was she about to say goodbye to the two women who’d become the closest thing to a mother she’d known since infancy?
Heaven knew she didn’t want to. They had sheltered her, taught her to be ladylike, surprised her with a fancy dress for the dance, and treated her like a…daughter.
But she’d lived as a criminal for almost two years. Some folks might hold the fact against her, yet the sisters had gracious natures. Whether they would or would not, it was time to learn the answer. “Once upon a time, I was a thief.” She hung her head, examining the geometric shapes on the carpeting as she awaited the sisters’ reaction.
“In Victoria?” Livy asked, her voice high and screechy. “Mrs. Moresby said you didn’t steal from the Firths.”
“That’s true. I wasn’t a thief then and will never be again.” The sisters deserved her respect, and Juliet raised her chin. “But I was as a girl in Manchester after my grandfather died and before I landed in the orphanage. Based on his Bible teachings, I understood the wrongness of it, yet I pickpocketed anyway.”
Juliet pursed her lips before spitting out the remainder of her sour recitation. “Until now, I questioned if I had the nerve to tell you about my unflattering past.”
Livy clutched her ivory cameo dangling on a black ribbon around her neck.
Silence hung in the room before Tabitha patted Juliet’s arm. “And the song prompted you to do so?”
“Partially. I’ve considered telling you for some time because Livy said a true lady has a pure heart. The good Lord knows I don’t have that, but I’m working toward it. Then the song’s lyrics mentioned being tossed about and many conflicts and doubts. Well, that describes me, especially since Gray left.”
Livy leaned forward, concern in her eyes. “Because you miss him?”
“It’s far worse. I love him, and he also loves me. But he’s a prince, and I’m a pauper. We don’t belong together any more than I belong here with you.”
