Page 56 of His Perfect Bride
Love. She didn’t know if that’s what she was feeling for Jackson. Everything was so different than what she’d ever experienced with David. But perhaps she had to allow herself to explore what those feelings were instead of running away from them.
A slamming door somewhere nearby rattled the wall. Behind her, Jackson startled. He pulled his head back as though waking up. For a second, he seemed to be taking stock of the situation, as if he was just now realizing how closely they were lying together in the bed. In the next instant, he jerked his hand off her and scrambled away.
At a thud against the floor, she guessed he’d fallen out of bed.
She held herself motionless. Should she pretend she’d been asleep and hadn’t been aware of how he was touching her? A part of her wanted to spare them both the embarrassment. But at the same time, with all the other deception they were perpetuating, she had to be honest when she could.
Reluctantly, she rolled over. He was in the process of quietly rising, moving slowly as if that would keep him from waking her after all of the other commotion.
At the sight of her face, he halted, half kneeling and half crouched beside the bed. His dark brows formed an angry V, and his mouth pinched tightly. “How long have you been awake?” His whisper was too loud after the quiet between them.
But apparently the rest of the pub guests were awakening now too, because boisterous talking resounded from the room below as did the clatter of a pan.
“I’ve been awake for a few minutes,” she admitted.
With a groan, he bent his head, resting it on his hand. “I apologize profusely, Sage. Please forgive me for my indecencies.”
A part of her wanted to tell him not to apologize. On the other hand, she was relieved he wasn’t the type of man who would willingly use her or the situation to push them into physical intimacy.
She offered him a small smile. “It’s not your fault.”
He didn’t smile back. Instead, his frown deepened. “I knew something like this might happen if I lay down next to you.”
“We had no choice?—”
“I could have used better self-control.” He finished rising, jabbing his fingers into his hair. “I should have stayed on top of the covers and kept my hands to myself.”
“Jackson, please…” Their attraction was growing, and why couldn’t they just admit it?
He paced to the door and stood facing it.
She opened her mouth to attempt a conversation about their relationship and the changing nature of it, but she couldn’t make herself speak. After several seconds, she clamped her lips together.
He inhaled and seemed about to speak.
Was he ready to have the discussion now too? What would he have to say this time? More of what he’d said the last time about how he couldn’t offer her anything and wouldn’t make promises he couldn’t keep?
Without a word, though, he opened the door, stepped into the hallway, and pulled it closed behind him.
She could only stare at the door, at first too surprised to react. As his footsteps in the hallway pounded away, her heart plummeted in her chest. He was still shutting her out of his life.
Her chest pinched painfully. But just as quickly as the pinch came, she pushed up and stretched, trying to ease the ache. She refused to let herself dwell on his rejection. Besides, it wasn’t even rejection. How could it be, when they hadn’t made any promises to each other?
All the while she dressed, she chastised herself to stay level-headed and to keep her perspective on Jackson. Just because he’d hugged her during the night didn’t change anything. Did it?
She quickly finished her morning routine, packed their bags, then with their luggage in hand, she started down the stairway. As she neared the bottom, the chatter in the dining room came to a halt, and all the attention centered upon her.
Thankfully, not as many men were present at the early morning hour, a few clustered at two tables drinking coffee, the heavy scent of the fresh brew lingering in the air.
Jackson, standing near the door and talking to the proprietor, abruptly stopped his conversation and started across the room toward her, scowling at the bags in her hands. As he reached her, he took the bags from her, then helped her down the last step. “I was coming back up to get the luggage.”
“It’s all right.”
“No, it’s not all right. You should not be carrying such items.”
She’d hauled around much heavier things during her life and during her voyage with Augusta. But she wasn’t about to contradict Jackson at the moment.
Rawhide Ralph was at Jackson’s side in the next instant still attired in his Native garb, wearing his hair in a long braid, and smiling widely. Clearly, his attitude toward Jackson had shifted, probably because Jackson had paid him handsomely already for the meal and room.
