Page 43 of His Perfect Bride
Sage lifted her free hand and fanned her face, warmth pulsing into her cheeks just thinking about having Jackson’s mouth on hers. The first soft kiss had been only an introduction, as if he’d opened the door and invited her in. When she’d stepped over the threshold, he’d ushered her in fully with the next kiss, enveloping her with a passion she’d never experienced before.
His hands had set her body on fire and his mouth had incinerated her, leaving only smoldering ashes behind…and a heat that still glowed deep inside. Even now, that heat pulsed in her blood, sending remnants throughout her, making her fingers and toes tingle with the need to kiss him again.
She would kiss him again, wouldn’t she? Now that she’d experienced his passion, she couldn’t deny that she wanted to have it more. Preferably soon. Was that wanton of her?
She’d never had such a strong experience with David. Yes, they had exchanged kisses once in a while, especially after they were engaged. But the kisses hadn’t evoked anything inside her, mostly had been perfunctory. They’d been nothing like the one she’d shared with Jackson. Not even in the same hemisphere.
Expelling a taut breath, she halted beside Willow near the dock.
Willow’s brows lifted to reveal sparkling eyes. “You’re thinking about your kiss with Jackson last night, aren’t you?”
Of course Willow already knew. She’d probably learned of it from Caleb.
“Hush now.” Sage glanced at Jackson still tinkering with the whistle on the steamboat a dozen paces away.
“You can’t deny,” Willow whispered with a mischievous smile. “Caleb told me he walked in on the two of you kissing very passionately.”
Sage pivoted swiftly and cupped a hand over Willow’s mouth.
Behind the gag, Willow’s laughter was muffled.
Sage leveled a stern look at her sister. “Don’t say another word about it.”
Willow mumbled something that sounded like, “I know you like him, and it’s obvious he loves you.”
Loves? Sage couldn’t hold back a soft snort. Jackson was attracted to her, but that didn’t mean he loved her. “It doesn’t matter. I’m not ready to be in another relationship.”
Willow broke free from Sage’s hold. “Learn from me and don’t push him away.”
Sage had enjoyed getting to hear all the details about Willow’s love for Caleb and could see that her younger sister had indeed learned a lot over the past year about love. Even so, Jackson was different.
Willow’s smile faded, replaced by seriousness. “Listen, Sage. You don’t have to be perfect to be ready for Jackson. And your life doesn’t have to be perfect to have a relationship.”
“I know I’m not perfect and never will be.” Maybe she’d once thought she could reach a certain standard of perfection in order to attain the perfect life, but she’d given up that aspiration. “I’m actually a failure.”
“That’s just it.” Willow pressed a hand to Sage’s cheek, warmth and love in her eyes. “You may have failed at one relationship, but that doesn’t meanyouare a failure and that you should punish yourself for the imperfections.”
“I’m not punishing myself.” But was she?
“Sometimes God works best when we’re imperfect. As our reverend likes to say, ‘His strength is made perfect in weakness.’ We just have to jump into a relationship with all our imperfections and pray that God would step in and be our strength through our weaknesses.”
Sage didn’t quite know how to respond. She’d always been the one giving out advice over the years to her sister. How had their roles reversed? In some ways, it just showed again how much Sage had failed to be everything she’d aspired to be.
Sage wasn’t ready to leave Willow behind, not after just being reunited. But with Jonas wanting to make the trip to return in time for the local church service, she didn’t linger any longer. She waved at Caleb, who was standing a distance back, giving her and Willow privacy for their goodbye. Then she hugged Willow tightly before boarding.
When the steamboat chugged away from the island toward the south, she stood at the deck and watched Caleb cross to Willow and slip his arm around her. Neither Caleb nor Willow was perfect, but they’d made a happy marriage anyway. Was it possible that even though she was imperfect, she could do the same? That she could rely on God to be her strength during her weaknesses?
As the steamer veered out of sight of the island, she waved a last time. Then she turned back to the deck, hoping to find Jackson nearby. But he was nowhere in sight. Either he was still caught up in analyzing the whistle or some other part of the steamer, or he was avoiding her.
She’d thought she’d been the one staying away from him so far this morning, but maybe he was also doing the same. Was he embarrassed about the kiss? He hadn’t seemed so last night. In fact, he’d seemed to relish every moment, had even seemed reluctant to let go of her after Caleb interrupted them.
Maybe he was as confused about everything as she was. He’d never made mention of wanting a relationship with her, never hinted at a future, never suggested there could be more between them.
But with as ardently as he paid her attention, was he wondering what the next step was for them? Was there a next step? After all, she was a poor lady’s maid, and he was a wealthy gentleman.
So far, except for the initial rebuff that first night at dinner, their class differences hadn’t seemed to matter to him—although she wasn’t entirely sure. He’d also seemed to want more in their relationship than simple friendship. Surely he wouldn’t have kissed her the way he had last night if that weren’t true.
With a man like Jackson, she didn’t feel comfortable bringing up the relationship issue, and she decided to wait for him to initiate a conversation about the kiss. By the time the steamboat reached Victoria a short while later, and she still hadn’t seen or talked to Jackson, a strange anxiety gripped her chest.
