Page 58 of Willing to Wed the Rancher
Franz nodded, then hung his head.
“It truly is for the best, Franz.”
He released a long sigh. When he glanced up, his face was lined with anguish. “I want you to come with us, too, Clarabelle.”
She could admit that a place deep inside was relieved that he didn’t want to leave her behind. Even so, she couldn’t agree to going with him, could she?
“I do not think I can leave you behind.” His voice turned hoarse.
The ache inside her swelled again and this time hurt even more.
“As Gott is my witness,” he whispered, “I love you as I have no other and want to spend the rest of my earthly life showing you my love.”
The words penetrated past the barriers she’d been trying to erect. They were hot, burning a trail through her so that shewanted to do nothing more than cross to him and throw herself in his arms.
But she couldn’t. If she did, she’d never be able to tell him no. And already, she wasn’t sure that she’d have the strength or willpower to do so. Because the truth was, even with all that had happened with Clementine—maybe even because of it—she cared about Franz as she had no other too.
“As much as I want you to be my wife,” he continued, “I only want you if you are willing—not out of obligation or duty, and especially not because you cannot, in your kindness, find a way to say no.”
The tears sprang to her eyes again. In such a short time of being together, how was it possible he already knew her better than anyone else? He realized just how hard it would be for her to turn down the children’s pleas or his confessions.
He held on to one of the stall posts, his grip tight. He was silent for a moment, then he peered away from her, as if bracing himself. “Of course I desperately want you to come with us. But I suspect you will be out of harm’s way if you stay with your family. No one would dare touch you if you go back home.”
She certainly wasn’t a threat to anyone in the counterfeit operation, was she?
“If you don’t want to go, then say no.”
Had she ever told anyone no before in her life? How could she start now?
“I want you to have the freedom with me to say no.” His face held quiet resignation. “If you tell me no, I will not be angry. And I will not try to make you change your mind.”
“Thank you.” Her throat was tight, but she managed to squeeze the words out.
“So? What will you say? Yes or no?”
She knew what she had to do. But even as she opened her mouth, she couldn’t answer him.
“Say it, Clarabelle”—his whisper echoed with pain—“and I will go away and not bother you again.”
She sucked a breath into her burning lungs. She didn’t know how she could endure telling him no, but there were too many reasons why she couldn’t say yes. She had to do it. He was making this so easy for her, more than anyone else ever had. If she didn’t learn how to say no now, how would she ever?
“No.” The word came out barely a whisper.
But from the way he bowed his head, as though in defeat, she knew he’d heard.
She’d done it. She’d finally told someone no. But she’d most definitely hurt him in her denial, and she hated knowing that.
Maybe she’d made a mistake. Should she tell him yes instead? She opened her mouth to say more—to tell him she was sorry, to offer any solution that would make him happy.
As soon as the words of excuse formed, she clamped her lips closed. She couldn’t leave with Clementine so angry with her. It wouldn’t be right. She loved her sister too much to abandon her for a man—even a wonderful man like Franz.
Even though it might be the hardest thing she’d ever done, she had to let him go.
Franz stood with his head down. Finally, he straightened and drew in a deep breath, as though bracing himself for what he needed to do. “Would you be willing to ride home to your family’s ranch? Just until we are gone?”
She nodded and brushed her hand over her mare, unable to get any words past the lump in her throat.
His beautiful blue eyes brimmed with sadness. “It will be easier on everyone not to say goodbye.”
