Page 49 of Willing to Wed the Rancher
“You should have been honest with me, Clarabelle. I even asked you if you were okay with me seeing Franz, and you told me you wanted me to be happy.”
“And I do want you to be happy.”
Clementine waved at the bed. “If you’d been honest, then maybe I wouldn’t feel so betrayed right now.”
Betrayed. The word settled over the room and over Clarabelle’s heart. “I’m sorry.”
Clementine spun and half ran, half walked toward the front door, which stood wide open.
Clarabelle raced after her. “Wait.”
Her sister only stalked faster, moving out of the house and down the steps toward her waiting horse.
“Please, Clementine. I don’t want you to be angry with me.”
“Maybe you should have thought of that when you decided to get into bed with Franz.” Clementine reached her horse and tugged the lead line free of the branch where she’d looped it.
Clarabelle clutched her sister’s arm, wanting to work things out before she left.
“No. Don’t.” Clementine jerked herself free and then lifted herself into the stirrup. “I don’t want to hear any more of your excuses.”
They’d never fought before—or at least, not more than simple squabbles. They had to work this out, couldn’t leave hard feelings to fester between them. Not like Franz had with Eric.
Clarabelle’s pulse slowed. What if that happened? This was a similar situation. Franz had even caught his brother and Luisa together in bed. The two had kept their relationship hidden from Franz instead of being honest. And in the end, they’d betrayed and hurt him terribly.
What if Clementine felt as betrayed? As devastated? What if she could never get over it? What if she harbored bitterness for years the same way Franz had?
Clarabelle reached for her sister again, but Clementine was already situating herself in the saddle.
“I never meant to hurt you.”
Clementine shifted her mare around but then halted and shot Clarabelle a look that contained all her anguish. “You did hurt me, Clarabelle. You hurt me a lot.”
With that, Clementine nudged her horse down the lane and rode away without looking back. As she turned onto the road and disappeared from sight, Clarabelle’s legs began to shake.
What had she done? Was her relationship with Clementine ruined?
She cupped a hand over her mouth to hold back a cry of dismay only to find that her cheeks were wet with tears.
17
Franz steadied Clarabelle. She was trembling, and he wanted to pick her up and cradle her against his chest.
But he’d already been bold enough for one morning. More than bold. He’d made a terrible mess of things.
If only he hadn’t allowed himself to fall asleep holding her on the bed. But he’d loved having her in his arms. He’d loved the closeness. And he’d loved that he could comfort her.
He’d told himself he would just rest for a few minutes, but with how tired he’d been, he should have known that would turn into much longer.
At the very least, when he’d first felt her rousing, he should have made himself get right up and walk away from the bed and all the temptation she posed with her warm body, sleepy voice, and unfettered hair.
But he supposed he wouldn’t have been able to tear himself away even if he’d given himself a hundred lectures on why it was a bad idea to keep holding her. A part of him wondered if he would have been able to tear himself away from kissing her if they hadn’t been interrupted by Clementine.
He wouldn’t have done more than kiss her. At least, he wanted to believe that. Guilt nagged him nonetheless, along with the realization of how easy it was to lose control. He’d always thought Eric had been weak for not showing restraint with Luisa, and he’d always believed himself more self-controlled, maybe even more righteous than Eric.
Yet all it had taken was one time kissing Clarabelle, and he’d already pushed himself beyond what was appropriate. Even if some people believed he was married to Clarabelle, and even if common-law marriages were legal, they hadn’t truly made a commitment to each other yet. Yes, he’d said he loved her, and he’d meant it. But he still didn’t have a right to lie on a bed with her and kiss her until they were both senseless.
Perhaps, in losing control, he wasn’t much different from Eric after all. At the very least he shouldn’t have stood in judgment on Eric and Luisa and cast them out the way everyone else had. The two had likely needed the support and love of family during those early days of their marriage and pregnancy instead of the ostracism.
